The Planeswalker Helm

The Planeswalker Helm? That ugly-looking Medic helmet?

Yes, that helmet that looks like the gutted-out carapace of a deformed shellfish slapped onto the Medic’s head.

Here it is, in all its glory.

The Planeswalker Helm is a promotional item for for people who pre-ordered  Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers 2012. It’s based on Garruk Wildspeaker, a planeswalker, which is a sort of powerful ascended being in the Magic: The Gathering lore. Garruk himself is a 8 feet 2 inches, 480 lbs beast of a man who’s a warrior-druid that wields a pretty sweet axe and prefers the wild. About the only connection he has with Medic is that he is aligned with the Green aura, which is pretty good for life gain, a slightly fancier word for healing. Also, later on he’s also aligned with Black aura, which embodies the principles of parasitism (which Medic most definitely isn’t) and amorality (which he most definitely is).

Available in Unique and Genuine, this hat isn’t exactly popular. It doesn’t really look like something that is part of the TF2 universe, its design isn’t really eye-catching and you can’t paint it lime or pink to fix that, it looks like a bunch of metal studs and scrap welded together with two miniature elephant tusks sticking out from the side, and no big-name YouTuber wears it. It’s not really that horrendous to look at, but given the wide variety of hats available for the Medic, there isn’t much reason for most people to equip it, not when most of them are really good-looking and fits well into other loadouts. Also, aside from that similarity between Medic and the character it referenced, the Planeswalker Helm doesn’t really fit with Medic’s mad scientist theme. Although that last point was rendered moot by the existence of the Geisha Boy which has even less to do with Medic, who has nothing to do with Geishas and is revealed to be the manliest man on this side of the Badlands.

Manly Medic disapproves of your cosmetic choice … and wants you to go away.

So yeah, who actually wears this thing?


This hat, which was originally going to go to Soldier before being rejected by him for having holes for him to see out of (“I asked for helmets that block my view, maggot, do you understand?“), is one of the first cosmetics I traded for. I just really like the look of it because it is different from what most Medics wear, and it has this worn and weathered aesthetic to it that I adored. Although I would admit, it is a massive pain to build a cosmetic loadout around it that I’m satisfied with at first.

If you really wanted to equip it (or just ended up with one for some reason) and want to wear it with something, I suppose the best look is to go for a post-apocalyptic look given its appearance. It looks like something a Raider from the Fallout series might wear and give you a tetanus infection as he headbutts you while wearing it. Armour cosmetics like Bunnyhopper’s Ballistics Vest or pouch cosmetics like Das Feelinbeterbager would go well with that look. Aside from that, you could go for a shaman-themed loadout, although cosmetics along those lines tend to be Halloween-restricted.

It’s a niche hat, I suppose, not very popular and really only appeals to people of very specific tastes. On the bright side, that means it’s cheap, you’ll be really special when you wear it because no one else does, and if you see a Medic on your team wearing it while in the midst of battle you are 99% sure that is an enemy Spy disguised as you because the chances of another Medic on your team wearing it (or just another Medic on your team, really) is about as likely as Pyro saying something comprehensible.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *