Author: Phovos

A Worried Excalibur
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A Bonus Unlikely Story – The Scared Excalibur

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“An Equinox, an Ivara and a newbie Excalibur head to a bar!” the black and red Ash grinned as he dropped down from an unprotected vent. “Well, the other two bullet jump in, the Excalibur just walks…” “Don’t make fun of the newbie,” the equally edgy black and red Ivara tutted. “Not his fault he’s literally just escaped from Vor’s influence.” “Well, he’s only going to hold us back!” Ash’s mood dropped. “This is a spy mission after all! A Spy mission on a Grineer ship of all things. Isn’t the place for a newbie Excalibur!” Again, Ivara tutted. “We’re… [Continue Reading]

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Demoman and a dead dragon
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A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 5 – A Missing Dragon

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There I was, just trying to cross the border into Skyrim, when I managed to get caught in some sort of war zone. I’m not an idiot, I immediately surrendered. Alright, I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been crossing the border as I was, but how was I supposed to know that this normally empty area was going to be full of soldiers? I was just trying to get back home to the last of my family in Whiterun for the winter holiday! Honestly, the path was open literally a week ago anyway! Now I was going to be… [Continue Reading]

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aabicus and Crawley in Saints Row the Third
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A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 4 – The Random Saint

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Ya know, that sorta weird thing that randomly happens? Just outta the blue? Like god giving you a sign and you don’t know what t’do with it? I think I mighta had one of them moments. Well, more like a few hours. You’ll get what I mean. I gotta explain it all. So I was just, you know, doing the rounds. Having fun. Being me. Running around, letting the Steelport wind blow me tits around. It’s a shitty little island metropolis but I like doing me job with fuck all on. I was in the middle’a beating some Morningstar cunt… [Continue Reading]

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The Rhino and the Shielded Volt
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A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 3 – The Shielded Volt

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“What is wrong, sir? You look glum today! Was your mission not a success?” Ordis asked as the Operator returned to his ship, wearing his Rhino Warframe, laced in elegant Orokin gold. “I thought Lotus was pleased with your work!” “It’s… nothing…” the Operator sighed. “Just… nothing…” “Clearly it is something!” Ordis protested. “Please, Operator, let Ordis help you! Ordis is always happy to serve!” The Operator tutted, then sat himself in front of his Codex, browsing the data he’d discovered about Grineer. “Since when did the Grineer have Nullifiers over their Formorian cores? Was that a new thing? I… [Continue Reading]

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Image from the League of Legends website
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A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 2 – The Diamond Volibear

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Back in Season 3, things were simpler. Things were busy. There was always people playing matches in League of Legends. The map was ugly, the characters were blocky, but things were pretty stable and everyone seemed somewhat satisfied. Even a newbie like me, I was satisfied with the game. Then, I was a newbie, really slowly leveling up. I only had a handful of games under my belt, and in those days, it took forever to level up a new account. Even if you got all those first wins of the day bonuses and made use of the experience boost… [Continue Reading]

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I was this Heavy once.
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A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 1 – The Lost Heavy

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So I started playing Team Fortress 2 when the Free to Play update came out. I was never someone to just jump in to whatever everyone else was doing, I was always the guy who goes to random servers and messes around in their own way. I’d played a handful of maps already, a CP map and an obvious CTF map. And I played 2fort as well. There were tons of other, different server types, from ‘achievement’ servers to ‘vsh’ maps that I later found out stood for “Versus Saxton Hale”. One map type stood out. It was called surf_something… [Continue Reading]

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