A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 1 – The Lost Heavy

So I started playing Team Fortress 2 when the Free to Play update came out. I was never someone to just jump in to whatever everyone else was doing, I was always the guy who goes to random servers and messes around in their own way. I’d played a handful of maps already, a CP map and an obvious CTF map. And I played 2fort as well. There were tons of other, different server types, from ‘achievement’ servers to ‘vsh’ maps that I later found out stood for “Versus Saxton Hale”. One map type stood out. It was called surf_something… [Continue Reading]

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Ode to the Second Banana

Boy howdy, haven’t made an article in a long while. In fact, this is the first article I’ve ever made on the new domain here. And who would’ve guessed that what drove me to it would be a simple yellow tropical fruit? Yes. I’m talking about the Second Banana. The banana is by far my second favorite new weapon of the Jungle Inferno update; right behind the Thermal Thruster. It’s so simple, yet so fucking good. In the dark, banana-less age of when the banana had not yet been brought into existence, the Sandvich was the undisputed champion of Heavy secondaries,… [Continue Reading]

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Four-Way Food Fight

The Jungle Inferno update brought Heavy a new lunchbox item, stealth buffed an existing one, and changed some other weapons, leading to changes in loadouts to work with their new stats. Once again, the viability and usage of each lunchbox item shifts again. Today, we’ll take a look at the four lunchbox items for the Heavy in TF2 post Jungle Inferno and see where they stand compared to each other. The Sandvich is similar to the Buff Banner, the Flare Gun and the Chargin’ Targe in one way. They serve as the first example of their weapon subcategory (lunchboxes, banners, flare… [Continue Reading]

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Moving to the frontlines as Heavy after Jungle Inferno

Long time ago, moving out of spawn as a Heavy is simple. If you don’t use the Gloves of Running Urgently, you are going to reach the frontlines just in time for Half Life 3’s release. But after the Jungle Inferno update, there have been various changes to the Heavy and his weapons. So maybe it’s time to take another look at the options available for the slowest, least mobile class in the game to get from spawn to the objective. A lot of times, I will be talking about Heavy with a Medic rather than just him alone. A… [Continue Reading]

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Jungle Inferno, the new Team Fortress 2 Update, is here!

I know, I was supposed to do write-ups for each of the days of the Jungle Inferno update, but considering how Team Fortress 2 updates work, with reveals on the first days and the actual event being released on the last day, I didn’t think there would be much point. So day two was all the new campaign stuff, like the old Gun Mettle update but with a twist. Now, rather than ending up with a billion stock weapons with weird (and often ugly) textures on them, completing part of the new campaign grants you a War Paint, that can… [Continue Reading]

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Eviction Notice

Remember the Valve’s Great Balance Proposal of Summer 2017? Well, after tearing my hair out about the proposed DDS buff (screw you, Sniper), I scrolled further and saw this: Oh bother, Valve’s going to ruin this for me. I knew there’ll be karmic backlash for the Quick-Fix and Scorch Shot buffs coming my way some day, even though the Scorch Shot buff is totally uncalled for and really doesn’t concern me that much. I might just be scaring myself, and nothing bad for me is going to happen towards the Eviction Notice. But anyways, I’m going to write this article… [Continue Reading]

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Balance Changes – TF2 Blog Post 20-06-2017

Oh my fucking Bahrag, there’s a Team Fortress 2 update and it’s a balance update rather than yet another fucking crate and key update. Oh my god what’s happening? Is this reality? Is this Valve putting the space left over from SPUF’s destruction to good use? Of course not. It’s a bunch of insane, crazy changes. But at least Valve are saying WHY these changes are being made. A lot of the changes seem to be nerfs, particularly the Scout items. Seriously, these changes are all fucking insane. Yes, the Dangershield is getting nerfed, but holy fuck now it has… [Continue Reading]

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Minigun Jumping

We all know the Heavy: slow, lumbering big Russian guy with a big gun. His slowness and general lack of mobility is pretty much why most of the community think that Heavy has a low skill ceiling. While Heavy does actually require a lot of gamesense, there’s no way around it: the Heavy has a very low mechanical skill ceiling since he’s limited by his low mobility. Many have sought to increase that skill ceiling by giving him more mobility. Foxzet tried replacing the Minigun with the Grappling Hook and had some pretty good results.But at the end of the day,… [Continue Reading]

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Slipping into flip-flops

Since these two cosmetics are rather similar, I’ll be talking about them together. Today’s article will be about the Flip-Flops for the Scout and the Aqua Flops for the Heavy. The Flip-Flops are a pair of bright yellow flip-flops for Scout, and is available for purchase during the Summer Camp Sale in 2011 along with another Scout exclusive the Lucky No. 42 and the all-class Summer Hat. The Aqua Flops made its debut a year later in the Mecha Update along with Carl and Hunger Force as a reference to the Adult Swim character Carl Brutananadilewski. The Aqua Flops are based off the… [Continue Reading]

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Cadaver’s Cranium

The Cadaver’s Cranium shambles into the game during Scream Fortress 2010. It is based on the popular portrayal of the Frankenstein’s monster, and is an extra half a head rather crudely stapled onto the Heavy’s head, with thin black hair covering the extra scalp. Last I check, hair transplant isn’t supposed to include a large chunk of the skull with it. The Cadaver’s Cranium is a hat that holds a special place in my heart, as mine was a gift from a stranger when I was still very, very new. Years ago, a young, fresh-faced and newly premium’ed Warlock decided… [Continue Reading]

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