A Flood of Hats

This year, we have been flooded by hats. Literally, flooded. Do you know how many new hats we’ve had this year? Do you know how many hats there are in TF2? According to the Team Fortress 2 wiki, there are 380 hats. And there are 306 miscellaneous items. Plus the 25 items from the recent update. That’s 701 items.

Anyway, that’s a lot of hats. And medals and badges and stuff. But here’s the fun part. This year, we have been blessed with about 189 hats. I may have missed a few, but with so many hats, it’s getting hard to remember them all. 23% of all cosmetic items were introduced in 2013 alone. TWNETY THREE PERCENT. Nearly a quarter! That’s a lot of hats. The classic game of naming every item in Team Fortress 2 has become impossible for all but the most dedicated people with the best memory. Thank heavens we have the wiki then.

Hats have been a key part of Team Fortress 2 for years, since the Sniper VS Spy update. To most players, they are a symbol of not only looking awesome, but of wealth too. Some will even judge other players’ skill based on what hats they’re wearing. This has led to many players wearing so-called ‘noob’ hats such as the Ghastly Gibus in order to fool others.

It’s a pretty serious business. More hats mean more reasons to buy keys and use metal in crafting and trading. And it’s a simple yet efficient way of keeping Team Fortress 2 fresh. Unlike weapons, hats don’t need stats, nor do they need constant tweaking. If someone doesn’t like a hat, they can simply not wear it.

But have we gone too far? We’ve had 189 hats this year, but only two weapons, both of which are reskins of already existing weapons. Some would say that this is fine, as ‘new weapons always suck’ or ‘we have enough weapons’ (but we don’t have enough hats?). Others would say that we technically got a bunch of new weapons in this year’s big summer update, when a bunch of weapons were buffed, nerfed or generally changed. Others still complain that we should all only use stock weapons and that all other weapons should be removed from the game, but that’s silly, and an argument for another time. Plus, everyone loves the Ubersaw, right?

Who knows. My person opinion? It’d be nice to see a few new weapons. Even just one or two. Even just one. Because I’m poor and Irish and there’s not enough space in my backpack for all these hats.