Burly Beast

Some time before Scream Fortress 2016, there was a Reddit thread about how some mercs got shafted really bad when it comes to cosmetic distribution. This was what I said:

If you wonder what “this” refers to, it’s this. And guess what got added during Scream Fortress 2016? Exactly that. Now, I’m not saying Valve listens to me, but Valve added a cosmetic that was submitted and last updated a whole year ago when there are other submission made that year. By the way Valve, if you are still listening, I still want my jetpack.

As one can see, this tears off the front of Medic’s labcoat, setting his beautiful, beautiful pecs free and let the manliness ooze out of his chest hairs. That is the greatest amount of pure macho charm that ever entered TF2, since Saxton Hale isn’t officially in the game yet. It turns Medic into the magnificent male specimen to trump all attempts at testosterone-based charm. For those asking for female classes, you got it. With a Burly Beast Medic in the game, everyone else are pretty much female by comparison.

I do have minor complains. The model for the Burly Beast ends right below the head, and there is a difference in skin colour between Medic’s new neck and his head. It shouldn’t matter much normally, but when posing for posters tilting the head upwards or sideways exposes the line between the misc and the head, which gets rather unsightly. Also, since this originally belonged in a cosmetic set that turns Medic into a wolfman, there are a few specks of blood on Medic’s left pectoral. Those spots just seem weird without that context and make it look like Medic got some rashes on his skin.

But other than that, this cosmetic is great. Sure, it overwhelms the presence of all your other cosmetics. It is one of those cosmetics that you build around, rather than use this as part of a loadout or use it to complete a cosmetic loadout. The Burly Beast is pretty much the prima donna of whatever cosmetic loadout it is in, no matter what you wear it with. However, if you can rock it, you will be the star of the TF2 fashion show you’re in.

I suppose after years of being though of as a weak man that is as lethal as a Teleporter Entrance, Medic now relishes in being able to express his true self. To be honest, I never see why do people think of Medic as physically weak. A Medi Gun is a modified fire hose nozzle, no? I played with one before, and those things are heavy. Not to mention, the lever is actually rather stiff, and Medic flicks it about like a light switch. I’m suppose that’s how he builds up those fantastic pecs and crit like hell with an Ubersaw. Besides, that thing is most likely heavier than what Scout has to carry and Medic is only a bit slower than him with those burdens on him! This German doctor has a doctorate in gains, dude.

As to what to wear with it, beards could work. Or some sweet mutton chops. Hair will also work. Or sunglasses like the Graybanns. The Nine-Pipe Problem works well too. Just that whatever you do, don’t ever try to draw attention away from those beautiful, beautiful rock solid muscles.