The Best Team Rocket Grunt

Team Rocket Grunts come in a bunch of different forms. Generally, they are male or female and have Pokemon based on their type. You can generally guess what Pokemon they’ll have based on the line or pun they spout when you challenge them. When you defeat a grunt, they’ll scurry off and leave one of their Pokemon behind.

Grunts seem to change on a regular basis.

Well, I say that, the grunts themselves stay the same. No matter what Pokemon they have, they’ll spew the same old puns and one-liners. And they’ll always abandon one of their Pokemon at the end of the battle. But the Pokemon teams they have will change slowly over time. For example, the female grunt with ice type Pokemon originally only had Snover and Abomnasnow. But over time, that grunt got other Pokemon too, like Shellder and Lapras.

Some grunts have changed almost completely. The normal type grunt used to use things like Rattata, but now they use a Teddiursa and either the Porygon family a Raticate or a Snorlax. However, some grunts will disappear completely, only to reappear later on with different Pokemon.

Some Grunts are a pain in the butt.

The most annoying reward goes to the “winning is for winners” grunt because you can never be certain what Pokemon this grunt will have. Over time, she (it’s always a she) has had all sorts of Pokemon. Originally, she’d have a mashup of Kanto starters, or maybe a Snorlax. A double Snorlax team followed by a Dragonite is still pretty common. For a while, she had a Skarmory or an Aerodactyl. Occasionally though, this grunt will sometimes have a Gardevoir in the lineup. And that shadow Gardevoir WILL kill a lot of things if it has Charm as its fast move. That move alone, even without STAB, hits like a truck.

You can beat most grunts though. The only times you’ll get screwed over are if a Pokemon has a countering move. For example, the current female water grunt uses the Poliwag gamily, but if you are using Electric types, they can use earth moves, which are super effective against you. Most of the time though, you can do enough damage to defeat these grunts anyway.

The best Grunt by far though is a male Grunt.

Generally, female grunts tend to have slightly stronger Pokemon than male grunts. But that doesn’t mean male grunts are worse. After all, no female grunt has a Tyranitar, but the rock type male grunt often does. Male grunts can often have more desirable Pokemon too. But there’s one grunt who goes above and beyond when it comes to his Pokemon team. Wait, no, I mean the opposite.

I’m talking about the water type male grunt. This amazing guy will challenge you to fight using three shadow Magikarps. Occasionally, you’ll see a Gyarados at the end. But most of the time, it’s just three Magikarps. And, unlike aabicus’s University ‘Karp, these guys only know Splash and Struggle. So you can beat him with pretty much anything.

The best thing about them though?

The water grunt is completely unaware how bad his team is. So he uses the same canned responses that everyone else does. Oblivious to the fact that his poor shadow Magikarps are doing absolutely nothing. So he’ll spout the same old grunt lines, like how we’re too good or how, delightfully, he didn’t have enough grit. I can’t get enough of this grunt, so it’s a shame that he’s so rare.

Doesn’t matter though. No matter how much he loses, this useless grunt is the best grunt ever.


Medic, also known as Phovos (or occasionally Dr Retvik Von Scribblesalot), writes 50% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF since she doesn't have anything better to do. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Phovos has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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