A Spider-Man: Homecoming Review of Some Sort

Despite the fact that I watched this movie on Friday the 21st of July, it’s taken me a few days to actually write this article. And that’s made even worse by the fact that Spider-Man: Homecoming was released on the 7th of July, making me super late to the party (although movies always come late here because they need Greek translations). I’ve needed time to, I don’t know, digest it maybe? But that implies that Spider-Man: Homecoming was a hard movie to watch, when it really wasn’t. This is what, the third attempt at a Spider-Man movie franchise in the… [Continue Reading]

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A Silly Thing About Butts

One thing I never understood about Warframe was why some characters have such obvious boobs and butts. Obvious and amazing. But also kinda weird, considering you’re space ninjas mowing everyone down, and there’s never an opportunity to woo an unlucky Corpus general with your well-toned, sexy looks. Heck, every enemy in Warframe is an ugly as fuck clone, an ugly as fuck genetically bred slave or an ugly as fuck monstrosity made from the combination of the former. Who are current Warframes wooing with these good looks? I suppose back in the old days of Warframe, before all the weird… [Continue Reading]

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Variants of the Assault Mission Type

When the War Within came out, it introduced a new planet and tile set called the Kuva Fortress. The Grineer stronghold, an asteroid powered through space by gigantic nuclear engines, is the home of the Twin Queens and the Grineer elite, with everything having a black and red colour scheme. Despite its name, there is no Kuva to be found on it or around it, and you have to go to any nearby planets to find the mystical black and red gas. Now, most of the missions on the Kuva Fortress are the same as normal. There’s an Exterminate mission,… [Continue Reading]

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Someone please explain to me what’s so bad about sex and nudity in video games.

So I was watching one of those shitty “top ten offensive things in video games videos”, you know, the ones that are obvious click bait. This one was by a channel that I vaguely like because one of the people there sounds like that guy from the IT Crowd and their older gaming videos aren’t that bad. And one of these things was a South Park anal probe scene. I really couldn’t work out why it was outrageous, because if anyone’s seen an actual episode of South Park, shit like that is the norm. Another entry in this shitty top… [Continue Reading]

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The Other Other Starter Character

When you first play Warframe, you play a tutorial quest in which you pick one of three starter characters. The default option is to pick Excalibur, the sword-using guy, who is a nice all-rounder character, sort of like your standard knight in an RPG. The next option is Volt, a lightning-chucking speedster who obviously works like some sort of mage character. And then there’s Mag. Mag is your third choice. Originally, the third choice was Loki. Loki looks and works like a thief or rogue. He fits well but was removed because he’s hard to use, needs to be maxed… [Continue Reading]

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Shadow Warrior free on Humble Bundle until July 23rd

Shadow Warrior: Special Edition is currently 100% absolutely free on Humble Bundle for the next day or so, and you can get it here. As well as the base game, you also get the official Shadow Warrior soundtrack, a digital art book and two unique weapons – a Serious Sam 3 sledgehammer and a Hotline Miami katana. It’s a first person shooter and hack-and-slash game with a somewhat loud-mouthed, over-excited protagonist, if the trailer is to be believed. The game appears to have that Serious Sam vibe, with a pinch of Saints Row style over the top gangstas evil corporations,… [Continue Reading]

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My Little Kavat

The first two Warframe pets I talked about were both dogs. One of them was built like a cross between a wolf and a tree. The other is a pink Charger, made by putting infected puss on a ‘dog’ egg, which now has been updated to have its unique form, rather than being a recoloured enemy. But now I have a Kavat, a kitty. An actual kitty, not a Warframe kitty who runs around slicing everyone to death while being immortal. Small problem though. My Kavat is ugly as fuck. Uglier, somehow, than my pink Charger. Unlike Kubrows and their… [Continue Reading]

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Focusing your Focus

After you complete the main part of the Second Dream, weird things happen. Basicallt, as to not reveal what really happens (after all, I have a whole article for that!) you get a new ability. Well, sort of. You actually get the choice to unlock one of five abilities, from one of five schools. These schools are called Focus schools (or Tenno schools), and your new ability, generally activated by tapping the 5 button, is your Focus ability. But before you use your Focus ability in a mission, you need to wait for it to charge up. Depending on how… [Continue Reading]

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PowerPoint Presentation Loki

I like writing articles about individual Warframes. Each one has got their own character about them. Volt is a derpy thing with square knees that throws lightning, Frost is a chill dude in a coat and Trinity is boring as fuck. Loki in particular is a nice character, boasting invisibility and speed, but being about as strong as wet toilet paper. But sometimes there’s a bit of overlap between characters. There has to be eventually, there are only so many ideas out there. But I didn’t think that such a large overlap existed already. Let’s talk about Ash. Ash is… [Continue Reading]

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Syndicates Are Full of Idiots!

Unlike most MMOs and RPGs and all that, guilds in Warframe are filled with bossy NPCs who sit in their silly places in relays and absolutely hate each other. Rather than being groups based on how you play, like a Fighters’ Guild or a Mages’ Guild, or more akin to jobs like the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood, the Syndicates are all political groups who hate almost anyone. The only people they have time for are Tenno who pledge themselves and donate money to them. The way Syndicates work is kinda weird. At first, you have neutral standing with… [Continue Reading]

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