Home Made Piss Easy Stuffing

Stuffing is a weird thing. You either stuff it into the carcass of some sort of animal or you eat it on its own. Shop-bought variants generally tend to come as a powdery state and require a ton of water to turn into something vaguely edible. Turns out though, stuffing is piss easy to make. Home Made Stuffing Ingredients About 200g of bread, preferably something crusty and thick. Slightly old, stale bread is fine if that’s all you have. 1 large onion 1-3 sticks of celery 200g cabbage 1 tablespoon of sage 1 tablespoon of cooking oil (vegetable, sunflower, olive)… [Continue Reading]

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On Learning To Cook

As far as I’m concerned, everyone should know how to cook for themselves. You don’t need to be able to perfectly gut a fish and grill it to perfection, but knowing the basics, whether something is cooked through, properly defrosting food, safely preparing dishes, doing your best not to burn whatever it is you’re cooking, these are skills you need to look after yourself. You can’t just live off ready meals until the day you die. Alright, I’m not saying that you should avoid ready food completely. A pack of oven chips isn’t a problem, making your own chips is… [Continue Reading]

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Tips for Cooking Chicken

I just put a large chicken into the oven. In two hours, it should be cooked, but I’ll have to turn it over in an hour. In the mean time, here are some tips on cooking chicken. Whole Chicken Probably the easiest thing to get wrong, to be honest. My nana always said the time to cook a chicken is 20 minutes per pound in a hot oven, plus twenty minutes. But that’s not exactly accurate. It really depends on how big the chicken is, how fresh it is, and how hot the oven is (is it gas, electric, both… [Continue Reading]

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Kinda Not Really Sugar Free Lemon Yogurt Ice Cream

You need an ice cream maker for this one. “Nothing is truly sugar free” ice cream 700g Greek yogurt (10% fat is nicest but 5% fat works too) 1 large lemon 1 lime 1/2 cup sweetener – what you’d normally use to sweeten tea or coffee. Zest the lemon and the lime, then juice them both. Mix the lemon and lime juice in with the yogurt and mix well. Add the sweetener and continue to mix. Throw in the zest, keep on mixing, then pour into your ice cream maker. It is worth tasting the mixture before making it into… [Continue Reading]

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Smeghead’s Meatballs

You know I mentioned that bechamel sauce when I introduced SPUFood? Well there’s some meatballs to go with ’em. Definitely makes over 18 meatballs, but this varies depending on how big you make them. That’s about one meal for Smeghead. A Random Meatball Recipe by Smeghead 750g ground pork mince 1 egg 100g cheese 1 small onion 1 small, red horn pepper Salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika 1 tablespoon sweet chili sauce 1 tablespoon ketchup 1 teaspoon dark soy sauce (optional) 1 teaspoon siracha sauce (optional) Breadcrumbs Chop the onion and pepper as small as you can, but don’t grate… [Continue Reading]

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Introducing SPUFood

Here’s how to make my bechamel sauce, a creamy, cheesy sauce perfect for macaroni cheese and other pasta dishes. Basic Cheesy Bechamel Sauce 50 grams of butter Flour of your choice Approximately 200ml of full fat or semi-skimmed milk Seasoning – salt, pepper (optional: garlic powder, paprika powder) As much cheese as you want – cheddar is nicest, but as long as it melts, who cares? One egg yolk 1 teaspoon mustard, preferably English Melt the butter in a saucepan. Once it’s melted, take it off the heat and add flour, mixing until it forms a thick paste. Put the… [Continue Reading]

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Medic’s Stupid Flapjack Recipe

You like oats, sugar and honey? Well this is for you. Medic’s Stupid Flapjack Recipe 400g oats 150g butter 150g honey 100g white sugar 50g cocoa or chocolate milk mixture Pinch of salt Extra butter and honey as required Optional: 50g black treacle (molasses), chocolate chips, walnuts, whatever you want, to give it some crunch. I recommend Smarties/M&Ms because they’re particularly crunchy. Preheat the oven to gas mark 4 / 180C / 350F Melt the butter and sugar in a saucepan over a low heat. Once that’s all melted, add the honey and cocoa and stir gently. In a bowl,… [Continue Reading]

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Eat at Panda Express Today and Get a Chork!

Today is General Tso’s birthday, and to honor that fact Panda Express is giving away a free chork with every purchase! While chopstick-forks have appeared in culinary history before today, Panda will be the first chain to introduce them to the mainstream audience, and their marketing tools insist they ‘invented’ it so presumably they’re using something of a new model. In a statement to First We Feast, Panda explained their rationale for the new silverware: “Chorks were introduced to the public during the launch of the dish yesterday.┬áThe tool is a perfect way to illustrate the mashup of American and… [Continue Reading]

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Panda Express announces new dish

Panda Express pulled out the works on this new reveal, probably the first time I’ve seen a fast food chain livestream and hype up an addition to their menu. As a diehard Pandaholic (not a real word), I was up and watching as they rolled out the red carpet in their first ever store to announce the new flavor, their first ever Facebook livestream. Then I rushed down to my local Panda Express and gave the new food a try for myself! My opinion? It’s not as flavorful as the orange chicken, and it has a bit of an aftertaste,… [Continue Reading]

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Optimizing Your Panda Express Strategy

Everybody has a vice, and mine is Panda Express. Their orange chicken is impossibly delicious and definitely my favorite food on this planet. Thank god I move so often and never seem to be anywhere near one, otherwise I’d be eating there all the time. The Panda Express at my old college campus was a place of many memories for me. It was where I first met my future wife in a study group for Dinosaurs class. I was its mayor on FourSquare before FourSquare revamped its mayorship system and made it stupid and pointless. I was there for all… [Continue Reading]

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