The Lotus Eaters end diorama. Of fucking course my Lotus is yellow...
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Uve Uve Mara – The Lotus Eaters OST

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A lot of stuff has happened in Warframe lately, and it’s all coming to a head in Warframe 1999, which comes in December. And no, I still haven’t worked out how to tastefully discuss what happened in Jade Shadows. But one thing has stuck out to me lately, and it’s the soundtrack from the Lotus Eaters update. While yes, the Lotus Eaters ‘quest’ was more akin to the three mini quests before the New War (and only takes like 2 minutes to complete, excluding loading times), there’s something about the login screen music that tells far, far more than the… [Continue Reading]

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Phovos the Excalibur in his blue and orange colour scheme.
Featured Fiction Fun 

The Impossible-to-Access Zanuka Mission

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Zanuka sucks. It really does. “Skip into the night, where all the stars are bright… We’re back again to do this, and we’re gonna do it right…” “You know that’s a song sung by Infested, right?” Nidus pretended that he hadn’t jumped in surprise, but he’d clearly failed miserably, as Wisp giggled at him. However, Chroma crossed his arms and tutted, blatantly unamused by Nidus’s singing. “Damn, I thought I’d come here alone!” Nidus exclaimed. “Just wanted to do a quick exterminate to calm my nerves before I take on whichever Archon has cropped up again.” “That still doesn’t explain… [Continue Reading]

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Loki being stalked by the Stalker
Featured Fiction Fun 

An Awkward Hijack Mission with Jade

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I honestly am still struggling with an article about Jade, so have some awkward fan fiction that somehow covers how I feel about her instead. “Ahem.” Volt blinked his neural sensors several times, realizing what he was doing. “Oh, sorry.” “You should be, you’re staring.” “Sorry. I… I… uh… um… I can’t help it…” A slap to the face rudely snapped Volt back to reality. But the slap didn’t come from the person Volt had been accidentally staring at. “How dare you!” Ember hissed. She was very dressed up today. Skin made of molten glass, wrapped up in fine fabric,… [Continue Reading]

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A Dynamax raid with a Dynamaxed Dubwool kicking the shit out of a Wooloo.
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I Actually Like Dynamax Stuff… Mostly

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With the Max Out ‘season of Galar’ season, a new gimmick has been added to Pokemon GO: Dynamax Battles. Basically, they’re like normal raids, where you fight against a larger than normal Pokemon. But this time round, the raid boss is absolutely huge and, after a little effort, YOU can become absolutely huge too. The main difference is that Dynamax Pokemon are very tanky, you only have a team of 3 Pokemon and you do the most damage by Dynamaxing yourself. You do this by slowly filling up a bar (and occasionally swiping left or right to collect power ups)… [Continue Reading]

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Art by Lynn Shields
Now for Something Completely Different 

Have A Banana

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Editor’s note: The article you are about to read was originally written by my mum, the person who inspired me to write all those years ago. Today would have been her birthday, so, to celebrate, we are publishing this article, originally written in 2008-ish. Mum was the best person in the entire world, and it pains me that she is no longer with us. I hope you enjoy this snippet of my mum’s insanity. Up the apples and pairs, how’s your father, love a duck etc. Anyone who has experienced the delights of actually speaking to me will probably have… [Continue Reading]

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shiny falinks
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Falinks Raid Day and Some Raid Weirdness

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There’s something fucky going on with raids right now. The raid bosses are broken. I noticed this first when doing a Lucario raid (need that XL Candy!) and I noticed that the raid boss was doing charge attacks way more often than normal. Later on, I was invited to a Kyogre raid and I realized something was very, very wrong. It basically did Blizzard after Blizzard after Blizzard. In fact, the Kyogre was doing Blizzard charge attacks as fast or faster than my own Pokemon were. Thankfully, there were 17 people in this raid and the Kyogre still died (and… [Continue Reading]

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Hundo Primarina
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Popplio Community Day

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As much as I think the Popplio line is ugly, I’ve been waiting for this one for a while. You see, about a year ago, I actually managed to hatch a hundo. And that hundo has been sitting there, waiting to be evolved, for fucking ages. In fact, today, during the Popplio Community Day, I evolved a Brionne into a Primarina for the first time. Sure, I need to power her up, but still, I finally got a Primarina. It’s always worth waiting for starter Pokemon Community Days. Very few starter Pokemon are fine without their Community Day moves, the… [Continue Reading]

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Mega Lucario VS Wonderblades and Tequila
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Wonderblades – My First Level 50 Legendary

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In January 2019, I caught a Groudon. It caught on the second to last Pokeball. Back then, I was only just level 30, and I didn’t have very many counters. It had also taken 5 people to beat the raid, because the best water type back then was Kyogre with Surf, and it hadn’t been available since January 2018 when it was first released, so many people didn’t have the candy to power one up to level 40. At the time, I was using stuff like Blastoise and Venusaur and whatever grass types I could get my hands on. This… [Continue Reading]

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A Gordon Freeman Cardboard Cut-Out in an abandoned mall.
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TennoLive 2024 Randomness

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So I was going to write a big old thing about TennoLive 2024. Frankly, I’m kinda still trying to process it. Because, the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. It’s 2am as I’m writing this, I just got off a Discord call with some Fortuna 69 friends, I just left the abandoned Warframe 1999 mall relay, I’m confused as fuck. I also kinda… don’t want to spoil anything? Because, like, I think TennoLive 2024 is something best watched for yourself. Explaining it is hard. There’s people with Warframe bodies but normal human heads and military gear… [Continue Reading]

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An egg for a Mega Rayquaza Elite Raid
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Niantic Doesn’t Want You To Get Mega Rayquaza

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The Primal Groudon and Kyogre raid days we had earlier this year were great. They were accessible to plenty of players, you could use remote raids and, most importantly, there were lots of them. Every single gym had a raid on it, and those raids refreshed every hour. This meant that, even if you only had one gym, you could do three raids. Mega Rayquaza though, he was made STUPIDLY inaccessible. First off, he didn’t get a raid day. He got an Elite Raid Day. Which meant that, instead of every gym having a raid on it, only some gyms… [Continue Reading]

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