Team Fortress 2

I Love dm_duel_v1

by

I remember the feeling of instant buyer’s remorse upon playing Team Fortress 2. Because the person who introduced me to it invited me to an empty 2fort server. It had nothing to do with the game itself but rather the family Windows XP I was playing it on chugging and spluttering. It was trying its damnedest to impress me, but the frame rate was abysmal. I, being the young, naive and incredibly handsome hero of this story, thought it would work flawlessly if I simply belieeeeeeved! For reasons unknown to even the greatest of scientists, this approach simply didn’t work. But… [Continue Reading]

Bad Badwater

by

You play enough of a map, eventually you become good at it. You learn all the nooks and crannies, all the secret little hideouts, the best places to do X and Y and Z. And maybe eventually you’ll realise you’ve wasted a ton of your life on one single map and should probably move on and learn about the vast number of other maps out there. Or maybe you’re all normal people who, unlike me, play more than one map at a time. Maybe, maybe not. One of the many maps though that pops up on a regular basis is… [Continue Reading]

3 Things I Love About Badwater Basin

by
Badwater Basin

I take in a deep breath and look over the land with great fondness. Ahh, Badwater Basin. Nope, not that real life basin of “bad water” over at Death Valley. I’m talking about one of the oldest maps in the Team Fortress 2 universe, the second Payload map added to the game. Yep, good ol’ pl_badwater. That’s right, the little basin in the shape of Australia, you bloody fruit shop owners. Badwater Basin has always been one of my favorite maps in Team Fortress 2. I believe I started falling in love it when I was a wee lad with… [Continue Reading]

I Hate cp_egypt_final

by

I can’t think of one match I’ve played on this map where I had fun as either team. As BLU, you get spammed by an endless barrage of rockets and stickybombs all match simply trying to leave your spawn or reach the point while being funneled through narrow chokepoints. As RED, you’re practically indestructible and simply demolish the enemy team over and over with ease. If BLU somehow even manage to catch the scent of the control point, just detonate stickies or spam the centre. Almost all the capture points on this map are horrible, little boxes which make splash… [Continue Reading]

I Hate ctf_doublecross

by

Sometimes the worse a map is designed, the more gratifying it feels to win. It makes it tolerable. Perhaps even fun despite the flaws. But this is not one of those maps. The only words I can think of to concisely explain my feelings for this map are: even when you win, you lose. I can be ahead by a mile on this map and I’m still scowling the entire time. Capture the flag is already irritating enough, but then you throw this in the mix and it becomes torture. I find everything in this map to feel so lackluster.… [Continue Reading]

Frontier

by

There is one map in TF2 that I really, really love, despite how everyone I ever play with immediately wants to switch over to play pl_upward. Seriously, what’s the deal with that bloody map, the last point on that thing always have like 10 Level 3 Sentries on it. Anyways, my most favourite map in TF2 is pl_frontier. When we talk about Frontier, we’ll have to talk about the map’s most recognizable feature, and also one of my most favourite things in TF2. Ladies and gentlemann, may I present to you … Lil’ Chew Chew. Lil’ Chew Chew is the… [Continue Reading]

Mask of the Shaman

by

First up, I just want to make it clear: I really like the Mask of the Shaman.   Now that I established that fact and my TF2 cosmetic hipster cred, let’s move on. The Mask of the Shaman was added in an unnamed July 2011 patch as a promotional item for the game From Dust. Less than a week later, a patch replaced the old model with the one we know and most of us hate today. There is a very good reason this cosmetic is unpopular within the community. It’s a weird plaster slab with plastic strips sticking out… [Continue Reading]

Spectre’s Spectacles

by

The Spectre’s Spectacles was added during the Manniversary Update and Sale. To be honest, I doubt people actually noticed this misc since it’s released alongside some really fun cosmetics like the Ball-Kicking Boots and the Flair!, which is one of the most enthusiastic cosmetic names I’ve seen so far because of the exclamation mark at the end. In fact, I doubt people will notice this cosmetic anyway because it’s just so damn small. I bought this myself pretty much just to complete a loadout. It’s not something most people will actively look for to wear. I can completely describe this cosmetic… [Continue Reading]

Doing Most of the Things in Team Fortress 2

by
Looking out into the future

The other day, I thought to myself that I should probably play Team Fortress 2. After all, it’s the game that properly got me into PC gaming and it’s a big part of my online presence. I owe a lot to Team Fortress 2 and maybe I should take a break and play it for a while. See what I’ve missed. But as I loaded up TF2, I realised that I hadn’t really missed anything. The last time I played was during Scream Fortress 8. I made myself a lot of fake internet points on Reddit by making fun of… [Continue Reading]

The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking for Sneaky Sneaks

by

The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking slipped into the TF2 universe on the slick shoes of the Spy on seventeenth May 2012. Spats are traditionally used to protect shoes from mud and water, so this supposedly allows a sly Spy to slither among the ranks of enemies through harsh terrain with nary a scratch on the smooth leather. The slippery rogue will have an untarnished pair of shoes fit for the dance floor after a frenzy of stabs and slashes when he swings by the nightclub later that evening, The Slippery Spats of Slipping is a layer of white leather over… [Continue Reading]