A Series of Unlikely Gaming Stories 6 – The Jetpack

The match had been going on for about fifteen minutes now. This may have been the inferior Playstation version of Worms: Armageddon, but since there had been a huge abundance of health kits and everyone’s worms had started with 200 health each, the game had been going rather slow. And of course, this particular game scheme didn’t have the poison effect or everyone dropping to one health when reaching the time limit. No, this scheme’s sudden death was just a bit of flooding. On a map with lots of high land, that wasn’t really a threat.

Then again, there were still five minutes left.

That was until someone managed to get an Armageddon. The crate drop had been completely inconspicuous. Just sitting there happily minding its own business, waiting patiently to be picked up. Of course, Bacon’s team had managed to get to the crate first, and of course, they had to use it as soon as possible. Kitty’s worms all warned against it, Bob’s team was unsure and Panic’s team lived up to their name by panicking about the fact that they were all going to die and there was nothing they could do about it.

Everyone expected everyone else to die. Within seconds, the Armageddon had destroyed most of the map. Dynamite-sized holes littered the landscape. Nowhere was safe. Not even that one dumb worm from Panic’s team who was hiding inside a deep trench they’d made. Most of Kitty’s team died first, since they were all on the surface. Normally the high ground was a good option but in the case of an Armageddon, they’d all been flung off and thrown into the murky waters below. Bob’s team had been playing risky and while they’d survived the initial barrage, most of the team succumbed to the explosive damage. Panic’s team just flat out died. But they were probably going to all die anyway.

After what felt like an eternity of explosions, only two worms were left. The aptly named Bob The Hero and a basic worm called Bacon 3. The only thing between them was the entirety of the crumbling map. A map that was now more hole and water than actual solid ground.

And so a war of attrition began. No one had any homing missiles or anything that could easily get to the other side of the map. Bob’s team had already used all their teleports and swing shots. Bacon 3 had a single swing shot left, but it was not enough to get out of the massive hole he was in.

All both teams could do was lob grenades at each other. The occasional Bazooka worked too, but only if the wind allowed it. And unfortunately for Bacon 3, the wind often favored Bob’s team. There were a lot of missed shots, but as what remained of the terrain was slowly worn away by grenades, tiny slithers of health were being stolen.

Suddenly, a crate dropped. Next to Bob The Hero. Bob immediately used his turn to pick up the crate. A utility crate. Containing a jetpack.

“I got you now, Bacon!” Bob The Hero exclaimed as he immediately activated the jetpack. He didn’t have a Dynamite or anything like that though. He was going to put Bacon 3 out of his misery the old fashioned way. Using a fluffy sheep filled with C4.

Bacon 3 remained where he was. After all, there was nothing the worm could do. It wasn’t his turn. All he could do was watch as his impending doom approached. Maybe if he was lucky, Bob The Hero would baseball bat him into the massive hole nearby, so he’d down in the water rather than have to blow up or something. Bob The Hero zoomed across the map, laughing like a maniac. He blasted over Bacon, nearly overshooting, preparing his weapon of choice as he flew.

Suddenly, the jetpack disappeared. He’d run out of fuel.

Bob The Hero plunged into the water, narrowly missing the small piece of land Bacon 3 had been hiding on.

“VICTORY!” the announcer shouted, as Team Bacon won the game with one worm and 26 health left.


Also known as Doctor Retvik Von Schreibtviel, Medic writes 45% of all the articles on the Daily SPUF. A dedicated Medic main in Team Fortress 2 and an avid speedster in Warframe, Medic has the unique skill of writing 500 words about very little in a very short space of time.

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