Heavy Picnics and Other Amusing Mini-Games

Friendly Heavies...
Friendly Heavies…

Most people seem to hate friendly Heavies. You know, those Heavies who wander around maps, Sandvich in hand, not actually doing any killing. Free points if they’re on the enemy team, a waste of a slot if they’re on yours. But when everyone on a server is being a friendly Heavy, that means they can be easily swayed by your will. And your voice, particularly if you have one of those deep, gentlemannly, British voices or happen to be obviously female.

But now we have a server full of willing players under our command, what can we do with them? Play games with them, of course!

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An Interview with the Person Behind Everything

"Damn, why does Valve keep on breaking servers?"
“Damn, why does Valve keep on breaking servers?”

In this article, we’ll be chatting with the mastermind behind the SPUFserver and the person who makes the Daily SPUF work! And he does lots of other cool things too. We’ll be discussing the stresses of running a server and how you shouldn’t bash server owners. Unless they’re servers running Pinion for the sake of making money. No, this wonderful person puts his own blood, sweat and tears into making us happy…

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Six Shots

Ah, ain't she a beaut?
Ah, ain’t she a beaut?

Ah, the Shotgun, everyone’s favourite stock weapon. Last time we covered it, we were talking about Fat Scouts (i.e. Heavies) but this time, we’re talking about Soldiers. Before we start, a little-known fact about me, Soldier is my second most played class, a fact that has been firmly reinforced since I faced a horde of beeping monstrosities. Being the all-rounder that Soldier is, the Shotgun is, in his hands, one of the most powerful tools around, despite the fact that he also has a bloody rocket launcher.

But why?

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They See Me Snipin’, They Hatin’…

Picture by Medic.
Does this seem familiar? Picture by Medic.

Let’s face it. We hate Snipers. In every single Remove A Class thread on SPUF, the class that gets picked on the most is the Sniper. Despite his loud-mouthed insults, his only-just Australian accent and his ability to throw jars of urine around, people still despise the poor guy. It’s not his fault though, it’s just the way he was designed!

The question is, why does everyone hate Sniper? Is it his bad accent? His lack of Mannliness? Finding five of them on a team of twelve? All those jars of urine? The Bushwacka? Not quite.

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On the Fists of Steel

My fists are made of steel, and so is the rest of me!
My fists are made of steel, and so is the rest of me! Picture by A Dapper Apple

The Fists of Steel are a melee weapon for Heavy that, while active, grants damage resistance to all ranged weapons, but also take double damage from melee damage.  Because they are not the GRU, they are often overlooked.  However, I find the FoS to have at least a few interesting uses as well as a decent melee weapon, especially with a more shotgun/boxing strategy.

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A Chat with a Fellow SPUFer

A Fine Medic...
A Fine Medic…

In today’s article, we’ll be chatting with a SPUF regular who can often be found lurking around the Medic Subform. This fine player made himself famous for clearly explaining how the Quick Fix simply didn’t work before this year’s buff. After being abandoned by a Combat Medic, this fine fellow vowed to do his best to help others.

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I ought to write something about the Heavy Weapons Guy…

Heavies love to eat, but they can sure hate sharing...
At least this Medic isn’t on fire…

I OUGHT to write something about Heavy. I really ought to. I mean, I’m Medic. If we go by stereotypes, I’m supposed to be attached to a Heavy all day, every day. I’m not though, because I value being a skilled healer with a hint of reputation.

The Heavy Weapons Guy though is the face of Team Fortress 2. He embodies the soul of the damn game. Silly and childish yet dangerous and deadly at the same time. Even more so when you run around a corner only to walk into a spun-up Heavy or find yourself in the middle of a Heavy Boxing Match. Okay, the latter isn’t very common, but it does happen…

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How to annoy Enemy Snipers.

What's the best way to piss off a Sniper?
What’s the best way to piss off a Sniper?

Snipers. A lot of people don’t like them. Understandably so, considering that Sniper is the only class that can not only attack enemies at any range, but instakill them with said range as well. That being said this article isn’t about the Sniper himself, but how to make their lives miserable as payback for all the times you fell victim from afar to the Australian Assassin.

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Geoff

Scenarios with only one damage type are rare... Picture by Medic
Scenarios with only one damage type are rare… Picture by Medic

Sometimes, Geoff isn’t as good a name as it seems. Not because it’s not a good name, but because people go “WTF are you talking about?”, especially when I accidentally call a Vaccy Uber (or a Vuber or a Vaccination or whatever you want to call it) a Geofflette. Names based off an in-joke from a tiny group of people don’t always make for good names. Anyway, let’s talk about the Vaccinator.

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