Four Things You Can’t Do With the Sticky Jumper

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Migrating over from Medic primaries, I’m shamelessly stealing an old article format and focusing on another one of my favorite weapons in TF2, a much-maligned mobility tool that has been lumped in with the Rocket Jumper and Sun-on-a-Stick as useless tripe. I’ve long-defended the Sticky Jumper as a perfectly-viable unlock that created a whole new playstyle for aerial Demoman, but thanks to the many, many times Valve has redesigned this weapon, this time we’re going to talk about the things you can’t do with it. At least, not anymore. 1. You can’t plant decoy sticky traps. When the Sticky Jumper… [Continue Reading]

So What the Fuck is Warframe’s Actual Story?

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"Oh hai, I'm here to deus ex machina you out of this situation."

Yeah there’s a story in Warframe. It’s a thing. It’s a weird, confusing, messed up thing. Warframe’s lore is only something you can actually figure out if you sit down and listen to what all these floating heads are telling you while you slaughter dime-a-dozen enemies, or while you’re fiddling about with your mods and browsing the market and all that. No one’s really paying attention though, and with quests being not only scattered throughout the star chart, but also only a handful of them being replayable, the average person probably won’t get it right off the bat. And on… [Continue Reading]

Mute Crimson-

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It says something about the state this game left me in when I bought it in 2015 and finished it in 2017. The thing is, when I returned to it, I couldn’t remember why I’d originally stopped playing. Repressed memories are a funny (and slightly terrifying) thing. But before we get to that, let’s cover the basics. Mute Crimson+ is a hard as nails platformer bringing something akin of the original Ninja Gaiden to the modern-day with significantly less cheap BS. but maintaining the level of difficulty that had established its reputation. Seeing this and identifying it as a challenge, I… [Continue Reading]

Fiery Companion

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There comes a point in time where every gamer must make the choice …. Ah bloody hell, we all know where this sentence is going. Anyways, in my second FireRed playthrough, my starter’s Squirtle, although my starter was Charmander in my previous playthrough. That is because I know I can have a much better fire-type Pokémon later in the game – Arcanine. Since this was my second playthrough, I know where to find my beloved fire pup. After an agonizing lack of fluffy fire-breathing cuteness for longer than it should be, I found the one grass patch that I was seeking. And… [Continue Reading]

Lord of the Flies

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Once upon a time, long long ago, young aabicus made up his mind that he was ready to buy an unusual hat. I’d recently unboxed an Orbiting Lantern Officer’s Ushanka and sold it for $200 through Paypal, so I felt comfortable dropping some of that on a replacement unusual for a class I actually played. Which hat was a no-brainer; my beloved Prussian Picklehaube was the first hat the game had ever dropped, and it sat proudly on my medic’s head ever since. But what particle effect? There were so many, and I had to weigh the pros and cons… [Continue Reading]

On Trapping Enemies in Sand, Slowly Consuming Them and Replacing Them with Sand-Covered Clones

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Oh hey, it's a statue of Inaros.

After about an eternity of holding off, I finally caved and spent 100 Ducats (pronounced DUCK-ats) and some money on the quest Sands of Inaros. This quest, the only one purchase-able from Baro Ki’Teer, is a quest in which you discover who the hell Inaros is. As you wander through an abandoned Mars community, you find a rather nice temple with gigantic statues of Inaros in it, as well as some fancy urns. The quest is overall really good. It’s not really a standard quest, and in fact it’s actually really short in comparison with other quests. The urns that… [Continue Reading]

Mechanical Facsimile

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Showcase image. Huh. First time it took me so long to get to this.

A Spy walked through the spawn door on a rainy night. The mercenaries ran up to him as soon as as they heard the spawn door open. They heard of Spy being chosen for receiving The Upgrade, and they wanted to see how the Spy is now different. The Spy is changed. That night, they heard not his mocking wit and snorting laugh. They smelled not the odour of cigarettes and alcohol that sometimes gave him away even when he’s completely invisible and silent. They saw not the slight swagger in his gait, or the rather unnecessary flourish he has when doing… [Continue Reading]

I Am The Ultimate Raccoon

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I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m a liar. I have fooled all of you. I am not a wolf, but a raccoon. Not only that, but I am the ultimate raccoon. Well, at least according to Ultimate Chicken Horse, which I’m sure you smart folks already know is a plentiful and unending fountain of credible scientific data. I’ve learnt so much already, such as all the many athletic capabilities of my friends and I, the many contraptions that may harm us during our friendly races, oh… And that we’re cursed with immortality within a realm run… [Continue Reading]

An Autistic Space Kid – The Chains of Harrow Update

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Stupid overreacting cow. And you claim to be nice and take in outcasts all the while your outcasts are murdering people. Murdering them more than ever with Rell off the chain.

So the Chains of Harrow update is here, on time and chock-block full of stuff. Earth got remastered, melee weapon Riven Mods are now a thing, there’s a new update, a ton of QOL changes, raids being broken again and a new quest. I’m just going to talk about the quest, because a lot of this stuff would be better off in their own articles.

Just so you know, tons of spoilers ahead. But it was obvious from the update page alone that the subject of this quest, Rell, was autistic. Couldn’t have made it more obvious if they’d tried.

Anyway, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Spoilers incoming.

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The Amazon Prime/Twitch Prime Trial is really damn hard to get

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Twitch Prime ain't working, boys!

Editor’s note: The Twitch Prime offer has been extended multiple times. Unfortunately the extra Frost Prime didn’t make it, he got sold to make room for Nidus. Turned out forma’ing the aura slot wasn’t as good as I expected it to be. There is currently a second offer, giving you a free Soma Prime and Scindo Prime. Also this article is somewhat out of date as Twitch and Amazon have streamlined the free trial process, it now works much better. Editor’s second note: This offer is no longer available. Sorry about that. But luckily there’s some free weapon codes floating… [Continue Reading]