Excuse My French

Oui oui, I love the things Frenches. It’s a lovely language sophisticated: more good anyway than the English. Today I would want to show you several of the consequences interestings of playing at TF2 with the mode French. I am fascinated in the way which Valve have translated certains objects and I hope that you want to see the differences between the games French and English. (Basically, here are some screenshots of my loadouts with cool Frenchie names. Shall we check ’em out?) Since many of the weapons in TF2 are named after phrases associated with the characters, their names… [Continue Reading]

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Updates, glorious updates!

Earlier this week another TF2 update was released. I’m gonna get right to the point, that is, what they did to the Carnival of Carnage map:     That’s a screenshot from the Steam news feed, by the way. If you’ve read through it, you should be able to see why I’m so excited. The only two things I found wrong with this event map – Engineers dominating everybody from behind a map, and being shot by a Sentry while fixed by Merasmus’ curse – HAVE BEEN FIXED! I always loved this year’s Scream Fortress event, as you may have gathered from my… [Continue Reading]

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Why I like Helltower

In the days leading toward the sixth annual Scream Fortress event, Valve have been kind enough to give us easy access to past events. Yesterday I played on Helltower with two decent teams and, for the first time, some idea of what I was actually doing. My team lost, but it was fun anyway. I’ve seen enough articles about Hightower already. Personally I think it’s a rather boring map, good for training in propelled jumps and sniping but little else. Snipers can be so annoying. But the Helltower version? Much more interesting! I know people are complaining that Scream Fortress… [Continue Reading]

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Scream Fortress 2014 coverage with Dekky!

It appears Merasmus is getting a little senile. Perhaps this is no surprise considering the millennia he’s spent upon this earth. His recent attempt at building a cursed carnival hit a stumbling block when he realized, much to his despair, he’d forgotten to place the carnival atop an ancient burial ground. For such is the way of the wicked wizard. But a plan was forged, and Merasmus invited a familiar group of mercenaries to help fulfill his plan. In theory one doesn’t require an ancient burial ground. A recent one will do nicely. In fact even the burial part is… [Continue Reading]

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A Particularly Shield-Filled Story

When Helen’s voice rocked the spawn room, there were few happier than Tavish DeGroot. Between the white lines cast by his shutter shades, he saw his comrades, exhausted and begging for placement of a Dispenser. They were tiring of the battle for Badwater Basin. It had been a long, difficult day for the BLU team and much Jarate had been wasted. But there was a cart that needed pushing! So Tavish took up his trusty Frying Pan and affixed the Chargin’ Targe to his forearm. He re-positioned the Bounty Hat upon his crown and checked the pipe bombs tucked in… [Continue Reading]

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What if Valve teamed up with Lego?

In AD 2010, the epic story-driven Lego theme known as Bionicle met its rushed end. Fans of Lego everywhere were devastated. Not only was the demise of Bionicle sudden, it also ended with the most disappointing wave of toys they’d produced. Those were some dark days. It was thought that Lego’s greatest project, which had lasted for ten glorious years, would be lost forever. Earlier this year, whispers began to surface, rumors of a return for the theme. Before the Lego Movie, Bionicle was as mainstream as Lego ever got. It maintained a huge fanbase even after it was cancelled.… [Continue Reading]

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The Rise of Mun-Dee

Blood in the Water is an awesome comic, whether it was six months late or early. Its accompanying blog post on the TF website reads, “This double-sized monster has got it all, folks! All the action! All the words we know! 113 pulse-crushing, revelation-choked pages!” They weren’t kidding. Perhaps the chokingest revelation of all, the one I’d like to comment on today, concerns the identity of the TF2 Sniper. For years he’s been scoring those headshots with his trusty rifle or bow. He’s been throwing insults and his own urine around in vast measures. He’s been the bane of many… [Continue Reading]

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PhlogistiCast updates: 2014 Saxxies and the fourth TF2 comic!

  Some say that one day at Valve is six years for the rest of us. Some blame this temporal distortion for the delay of certain games and DLC. Some have feared the PhlogistiCast has also defected to Valve Time. I am here to put your fears to rest. It’s not true. What proof do you need, besides two videos in one weekend?! That’s right, we’ve got two thrilling news videos up on our channel and waiting for your views! In the first I ask Nethero, esteemed SFM expert, about the 2014 Saxxy winners and his own experiences with the… [Continue Reading]

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Communication 101

Once upon a time, I would have assumed that people knew what was required to work in a team. What an assumption! It’s like some players can’t take the hint from Team Fortress 2. It’s not just that I see comrades ignoring the plight of their injured Medic. Or that I’m always the only Pyro or Engie in a group of six Snipers who refuse to change class. Thing is, I haven’t seen many players who are good at the one thing you need to keep a team together. That thing is communication. You see, the masterminds at Valve knew… [Continue Reading]

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The Pistol and the SMG: Unappreciated Pea-shooters?

In the majority of FPS games, your selection of weapons includes at least these three Faithfuls: the pistol, the machine gun and the shotgun. Your pistol is typically considered a back-up weapon, acquired early in the game and perhaps coupled with a melee option. Your machine gun is quite inaccurate but delivers lots of ouchies per second. Your shotgun is slow to fire and only effective at close range, but makes up for it by blowing your enemies’ heads open in one hit. TF2 is not the majority of FPS games. Just think about Soldier for a second. Valve could… [Continue Reading]

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