The Nonsense that is the Glast Gambit Quest

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Volt waving to a Myconan person. Nice guy.

Who likes gambling? Raise your hands! Well, none of you probably like gambling as much as the fictional Nef Anyo, a nefarious piece of shit character from Warframe, who you could formally kick the shit out of on Phobos before he was replaced with the Sergeant. Anyway, this Nef is a complete cock. Because back in the last major update, he went and fucking kidnapped the children from a colony of peaceful folks called the Mycona and left them defenseless. The Perrin Sequence, a bunch of friendly Corpus, are offering vast amounts of money to pay their ransoms, but Nef… [Continue Reading]

It’s All Lilith’s Fault

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Lilith - Credit to Giantbomb for the in-game screenshot

I’m not normally a hateful person. I have strong dislikes for things, but I often don’t have the heart to say I genuinely hate something. But like everything, there are always exceptions, and after playing a little Borderlands 1 and 2, and seeing the end to Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel, I’ve found myself someone I can justifiably hate. Well, not just someone. Almost everyone hates the Claptrap unit in Borderlands 2, and for good reason. Being dragged through an icy hellhole for the lengthy duration of the tutorial area is bad enough without Claptrap screaming at me all the way through.… [Continue Reading]

The Problems with Pyro, and a Few Potential Fixes

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I'm surprised there aren't more people like this.

In honor of the incoming Pyro rework, I’d like to discuss the shortcomings of the class, and the shortcomings of Valve’s previous attempts to “fix” him. Oh, Pyro. You’ve been a mediocre class from launch, and nobody at Valve ever really took the time to fix you. From the lowest levels of “I just installed yesterday” pubs, all the way up to invite play, few would debate the statement that “Pyro is a broken, poorly balanced class”. Fewer still could (or would care to) describe exactly why Pyro is broken to begin with. SECTION 1: WHY PYRO BREAKS PUBS At… [Continue Reading]

Duels and Dominations

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I know a lot of people hate the Domination system in TF2, but it really does strike me as a particularly worthwhile idea I’d have definitely tried were I one of the initial developers of TF2. There’s no better way to teach somebody that they need to beware of specific enemy players, and before the time of cosmetics it was a clever way to differentiate who you’re shooting at by adding characterization to a single notable enemy. In a multiplayer shooter, I think it’s a particularly interesting challenge to try and visually separate the enemies so they don’t all look… [Continue Reading]

Home on the Range

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Shooters. The genre where you murder the other guy before he murders you. And what better way to train yourself for the horrifying prospect of a life or death showdown with another cold, calculated, killer (like yourself) than showing some wooden targets who’s boss? Oh, okay! Well if you’re going to be all fussy about it, YES! There’s slightly more that goes into it than hitting your desired target, something about the “horrors of war” or something? But I’ll have you know those wooden targets can be a pretty fierce bunch too and they pop up all over the place!… [Continue Reading]

Rambling about the Scorch Shot

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So, last night, Medic passed me the prizes on Steam (Thanks Medic!). Then with a swish of her lab coat she disappeared into the night, leaving me alone with a game and a TF2 key. I decided to use that key to unbox a crate, a #77 to be exact. And I told myself I’ll write an article about the item I unbox. Is it a hat? Or an Unusual hat? Or is it… Now, excuse me as I prepare to jump off a building. On the bright side, the Scorch Shot is one of my most favourite weapons in… [Continue Reading]

Escaping the Stalker

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Volt hated Spy missions. He hated them with a passion. Not because Volt couldn’t hack, in fact, Volt had mastered hacking pretty quickly. He didn’t mind the sneaking either, he actively enjoyed being sneaky at times. No, Volt hated Spy missions because of all those stupid energy fields and sensors and cameras and stuff that the Grineer and Corpus always chucked around their stupid vaults. Why couldn’t they just be in rooms with locked doors that needed to be hacked, rather than stupid jumping puzzles that required Volt to stop running, slow down and start doing stupid backflips and stuff… [Continue Reading]

6 Reasons Why I won’t play Competitive ever again

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Confused people

I was talking to my Overwatch-Competitive-playing sister who goes by the edgy name Skully. She’s totally not a Reaper main, can’t aim those guns for shit. She mostly plays… well, anything BUT Reaper. Mercy, Junkrat, D.Va mostly. That’s beside the point. We were talking about how competitive game modes just… aren’t that fun if you take them seriously. Which spurred me to write this article. It’s Too Serious Team Fortress 2 is a stupidly goofy game. On the flip side, competitive 6v6 is serious. Super serious business. It’s pretty hard to take the game seriously when you’ve got a Heavy… [Continue Reading]

Scarecrow

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One of my most favourite Spy cosmetics, the Scarecrow, came out during the 2012 Halloween update. It turns the Spy’s head into a voodoo doll head. What I love about this is just how unsettling this looks. The button eyes with some of the stuffing poking out from the back of the buttons, the stitches across the mouth, the seams and patches on the Spy’s head (or rather, his balaclava), it just gives that uncanny valley vibe to the Spy. And it also reminds me of Coraline. Must be the eyes. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure at first… [Continue Reading]

Some Article-Writing Standards

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Medic about to work on their computer before being distracted.

Hi everyone! I just thought I’d stop by with some more tips and guidelines for when it comes to writing articles, and how to get them looking nice and neat. As much as we let you write about whatever you want, there is a way missy Medic wants her articles to appear. Of course, I’ve written about this stuff before. But there’s always a few things I miss or change my mind on over the years, and since we have this newish site, I might as well make a new post. Just so you know, most of these… suggestions are… [Continue Reading]