On Becoming a Parody of Your Former Self

I’ve been re-reading and re-watching a lot of TF2 stuff lately. While my desire to actually play the game has fizzled out lately, I’ve always been a fan of the crazy TF2 back story. Always will. But my recent reviewing of it all has made me notice a few things. Things are changing. In ways I’m not sure I like. It hit me when I read Gargoyles and Gravel Pits, the Scream Fortress 2015 comic. In it, Medic is depicted as a complete lunatic, while Engineer is pretty chill about everything. And I realised that Medic has gone more and… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Practical Advantages You Can Gain With Taunts

Taunts are a silly yet fun addition to TF2 that have have grown more and more pernicious as time goes on. Nowadays they’re hard to avoid with very attention-drawing musical jingles, unusual effects, and contagious dances. But like everything other seemingly-pointless just-for-fun game mechanic, I’m here to nitpick the hell out of the entire concept, wringing out every possible competitive advantage. 1. Generic all-purpose third person. The first and most obvious, taunts give you an ability to look around corners and get a more broad screenshot of the map around you, with the only downside being the few seconds of… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Heavy Sorrow

It was a quiet Sunday. The enemy had been bloodied and beaten over the past few days, having finally given up the ghost on Friday. With BLU gone, the dusty Egyptian lakeside ruins were incredibly quiet. Despite the dusty terrain, the air was incredibly cold and crisp. Still, it was pleasant enough to annoy other mercenaries. Scout quickly realised that he’d crossed the line as Heavy lunged at him. “I didn’t mean, it, man! Come on, it’s just a gag!” The Bostonian dodged and weaved around the giant, before ducking away to safety. Heavy gave up and went back to… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Optimizing Your Panda Express Strategy

Everybody has a vice, and mine is Panda Express. Their orange chicken is impossibly delicious and definitely my favorite food on this planet. Thank god I move so often and never seem to be anywhere near one, otherwise I’d be eating there all the time. The Panda Express at my old college campus was a place of many memories for me. It was where I first met my future wife in a study group for Dinosaurs class. I was its mayor on FourSquare before FourSquare revamped its mayorship system and made it stupid and pointless. I was there for all… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Why the Tomislav is good

Whenever I see people using the Tomislav I ask myself, “why are they using it?” I’m not asking this in a demeaning way, but honestly just want to know which of its “many” upsides they are utilizing. I ask myself this even more in MvM but we’ll cover that later.   Some people actually use the silent killer attribute, I guess. Honestly in all my time being the pocket medic to a heavy that uses almost exclusively the Tomislav, we’ve only ever used the Silent attribute once or twice. He might use it while playing by himself but I doubt… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Shotgun heavy is an odd beast

Shotgun heavy is an odd beast. While he’s a valid and viable subclass, he’s also decidedly a joke because he’s forgoing his ultra-powerful minigun. Not to mention his signature weapon, the Family Business, is completely unremarkable, serving only as another basic shotgun with one of the few examples in TF2 of boring stat alterations. But really, because of this Valve is free to do more of the same just because it couldn’t possibly hurt. No heavy shotgun’s coming anywhere near the Sandvich in terms of viability, even if it were a Widowmaker that also healed Heavy for the amount of… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Heavy Robs a Bank

So over the past summer, they released a big handful of DLC packs for Payday 2, including a pack with a minigun and a character that happens to be Russian.  Me being me, I had to put them together and be Heavy Weapons Heister.  And you can, too.  As the Heavy, you become a powerful tank that can slow the advance of the police forces, and possibly bring other utility on the side. The only DLC you really need is the Overkill Pack, which gives you access to the minigun.  The Gage Courier and Shotgun packs can help customize your… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Ode to the Sandvich

A delectable combo of lettuce and cheese, Tomatoes, an olive, and fresh bolognas. There’s no battle ailment you cannot cure When bestowed by the heavy whose heart is pure. The Sandvich might be the most famous weapon in Team Fortress 2. Like the Ubersaw, it has eclipsed its stock counterpart and become the unanimously-accepted default weapon of its slot. Outside of gameplay it has appeared as a Comic-Con collectible and as the star of its own Meet the Team video. And the whole team should love it; aside from the Medigun its the best healing weapon in the game, instantly replenishing the health of… [Continue Reading]

Read more

Why do Medics stick to Heavies?

A Heavy is a Medic’s best friend. Always has been. You see, he’s basically a giant wall you can hide behind that moves around. But he’s also slow and painful and all that. Really, people give Heavy a bad name, that he’s fat and stupid and an abomination, that he should be removed or completely reworked or whatever. That’s cruel. Heavy is a simple class, designed for newer players to get in to the game, and for somewhat competent people to play if they need a brick wall or something quickly. He’s not got a high skill ceiling, but you… [Continue Reading]

Read more

How to understand your Medic

Occasionally, a really good SPUF thread will pop up out of the blue. It’s up to us to keep these threads safe. One such thread is Understanding Your Medic by chibi_charon. While the thread covers the basics incredibly well, I felt it was worth expanding this concept a bit, especially since the thread is two years old. Although little has happened in that time, it’s always good to refresh people’s minds. Because I’m a sucker for homages, let’s stick to the question and answer thing. Here’s a bunch of ways to better understand your Medic buddies. Q. Why is my… [Continue Reading]

Read more