I hate Mann Up Mode

One day, a robot-building mechanic was invited over to Mann Up mode by his friends. He found the mode very enjoyable, with new bots to think of and newer lineups to consider. It was like paradise for him, where he could experiment around for the good of all humanity. Then suddenly, he decided to play Mann Up by himself. There, he was met with discrimination of all kinds, mostly regarding his tour count. He tried to negotiate against their request of his leave, which fell on deaf ears, thus going into protest. A kick vote was made, and he was… [Continue Reading]

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How Do I Love Thee?

Let me count the ways… Like, at least 12. TF2 is an amazing game, and there are many, many things to love about it I could talk about various aspects all day, from the classes, to the weapons, to the fantastic art style. It’s a game that is almost 9 years old, and still has a great place in my heart. Of course, there are also thingsĀ to hate about it, like random crits, unbalanced weapons, and 4 Snipers on a team, but I’ll always remember the good times that I had, and not the bad. Seriously,        … [Continue Reading]

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A Week of Love and Hate 2

Hello everyone, and first off, happy mothers day to everyone. Particularly my mum. She’s awesome. This happy mothers day wish also includes, Heavy’s mum, Demoman’s mum and Scout’s mum. Maybe not Sniper’s mum though because she’s an alcoholic lunatic who is now sitting in a rocket in low orbit drinking herself to death while having left her son to die in a flooding city. That’s not really what we should be congratulating. Anyway, back to a week of love and hate! Ah, a week of love and hate. Last time round, for Valentines Day last year, we wrote about our… [Continue Reading]

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I Love Crit Combos

Although Team Fortress 2 is known more for breeding fury with its RNG magic “You win!” 300% extra damage rolls, I adore them as a concept in multiplayer to be taken advantage of through weapon synergy as opposed to sheer luck. Sure, it may be more effective to simply mow the enemy down regularly, but goddamn, combos give you such a sense of accomplishment when you nail them. The Sandman / Flying Guillotine combo! Scout is a joy to play. Weaving and leaping throughout the map, being your team’s official meat tenderiser and throwing in second beatings free of charge.… [Continue Reading]

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Ain’t no strings on me

Right now, I should be browsing SPUF and r/TF2/, discussing the recent stress tests. I’ve missed all of them. I don’t really care, despite having a hint of excitement early on the morning of the fourth. On the dawn of a new age of Team Fortress 2, I have finally freed myself. I have cut the strings that tie me. It’s taken a long time, but I have finally done it. I have uninstalled Team Fortress 2. I’m tired and jaded. I am sick of playing a game where I always lose. No matter how hard I try, failure spits… [Continue Reading]

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Thoughts on Matchmaking

While I missed the first matchmaking stress test, I was awake and ready for the second one! Sorry EU fans, maybe one day Valve will haveĀ one at a time that’s not horrible for you guys. I don’t have enough to do commentary on 16 minutes of footage, so I’m just making an article. I loved how easy it was to queue up; just click the button and you’re off to the races. I played 6 matches and won 5 of them, so the players seem really competent for the most part. There were usually 2-3 people with mics on our… [Continue Reading]

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So, that TF2 update…

I said I would write about the February 29th update, so I am. Luckily there was also a March 1st update which I can also write about, although most of that was bug fixes and the un-fucking-up of CP_Foundry. The important matchmaking stuff that you’re all interested in is available in video form here. Go on, watch the video! The biggest thing to point out was a very random Matchmaking Stress Test that happened late on the 1st of March. People of all sorts of flavours could suddenly go and play matchmaking. Unfortunately (and typically) I managed to miss it,… [Continue Reading]

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I know I was supposed to make an article about yesterday’s update but…

I know, I know. I’m supposed to keep up with updates and things like that. Yesterday’s update was actually quite a big one in terms of number of things changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. Everyone’s all excited because it was an update in the early months of the year that wasn’t a couple of small lines and updating the localization files and all that, and because there’s matchmaking stuff hidden away in it all. The changes I do like? The map fixes are always good and the ability to trade the Steam Treasure Hunt hats is… [Continue Reading]

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Character Annihilation 8 – Flustered

You know what? I’ve neglected this series. And while I’ll probably never actually finish it, I’m not going to be a person who can’t take their cake and eat it (I fucking love cake), I’m going to prove that I’m the sort of person who can poke fun at themselves. Because I can. Also because I’m still holding off on posting those two Skyrim articles I wrote ages ago.   Medic growled as the nemesis emblem appeared over yet another person’s head. It was bad enough knowing she was shit at TF2, she didn’t need it rubbed in, especially from… [Continue Reading]

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Practical Advantages You Can Gain With Taunts

Taunts are a silly yet fun addition to TF2 that have have grown more and more pernicious as time goes on. Nowadays they’re hard to avoid with very attention-drawing musical jingles, unusual effects, and contagious dances. But like everything other seemingly-pointless just-for-fun game mechanic, I’m here to nitpick the hell out of the entire concept, wringing out every possible competitive advantage. 1. Generic all-purpose third person. The first and most obvious, taunts give you an ability to look around corners and get a more broad screenshot of the map around you, with the only downside being the few seconds of… [Continue Reading]

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