My Little Helminth Charger

So my beloved Volt Prime is infected with a horrible cyst on his neck, picked up from playing with an infected Mesa while killing robotic hyenas for parts of a new character, but it turns out that horrible infectious disease comes in handy for one thing – making a new type of pet. Kinda. What you do is get yourself infected. Then you get yourself a Kubrow egg and an Incubator Power Core. You then drain the cyst into the Kubrow egg which sounds as gross as it… sounds. I only say that because when you select the option to… [Continue Reading]

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I Move Like They Do

Okay, okay, enough with the references. But seriously, this game is awesome. It’s amazing how even with the entire world in slow motion, the gameplay still feels as frantic as it does. Bursts of speed combined with the agonizingly slow-moving bullets makes for a teeth-grittingly tense shooter. But it kinda plays like a puzzle game as well, as you’re always trying to stay one step ahead at the very least. It’s strangely methodical in its gameplay. Superhot. The game where “time only moves when you do”-ish. Time actually does move if you stand still or move your mouse, just so… [Continue Reading]

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The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking for Sneaky Sneaks

The Sneaky Spats of Sneaking slipped into the TF2 universe on the slick shoes of the Spy on seventeenth May 2012. Spats are traditionally used to protect shoes from mud and water, so this supposedly allows a sly Spy to slither among the ranks of enemies through harsh terrain with nary a scratch on the smooth leather. The slippery rogue will have an untarnished pair of shoes fit for the dance floor after a frenzy of stabs and slashes when he swings by the nightclub later that evening, The Slippery Spats of Slipping is a layer of white leather over… [Continue Reading]

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Team Fortress Comics #6 is out!

It’s only been forever (okay, nearly a year and a half) since the last issue, but woo boy, this one is a biggie! And by biggie, I mean it both in actual size and in content. Issue 6 comes in at a lovely 270-something individual panels and a LOT of new lore, as well as an ending that makes you want more but also makes you willing to wait for two and three quarter years for issue 7. Before we start, be warned, there are spoilers ahead. Although this is just an overview, so I won’t be discussing every detail… [Continue Reading]

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The Gun That Won the West

I wrote a few articles in the past talking about some of my favorite firearms in video games, and after replaying Half Life 2 and seeing Father Grigori using the Winchester rifle I realized I needed to dedicate an article to the Wild West classic that didn’t stay dead. The Winchester rifle is an iconic firearm in western period pieces, designed for horseback riding and utilizing a lever-action reloading system that, while used by many guns at the time, nowadays is almost synonymous with the Winchester name itself. It’s a high-powered single-shot rifle with an iconic appearance, and that’s more than enough… [Continue Reading]

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The Helminth Illness

There’s a new Warframe in town, the annoyingly hard to get Nidus. He comes with a half good, half awful quest to get his blueprint and can only be obtained via the C rotation of rewards on a pain in the ass mission. Nidus’s update, the Glast Gambit (weird title, right?) came with a lot of ups and downs. The ups mostly being a new sparring weapon after the first two were released three years ago and the impressively good abilities Nidus has, the downs mostly being the second half of the Glast Gambit quest and the research costs of… [Continue Reading]

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The Floating Nut Sack of Suckiness

The Floating Nutsack of Suckiness is probably one of the most useful things around. It happily floats behind you, sucking loot towards you and minding its own business. Give it a shotgun and it will shoot things. Give it more shields and it’ll buff you when your shield runs out. Give it an ammo case and it will convert dropped ammo you can’t use into dropped ammo you can’t use. Let it die in a fiery explosion and it has a chance of giving you rare items. I’m of course talking about the Carrier. The Carrier is one of a… [Continue Reading]

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How to Design Enemies That Are Truly Scary

There are many, many enemies in video games designed to be scary, and I wanted to take some time to talk about ways to make enemies that fulfill this trope without resorting to “cheap” tactics like jumpscares or making them speedy OHKOs. Note that this article is mostly interested in “normal” enemies, not single boss-like monsters (like Spider from LIMBO) or full-fledged NPCs (like Pyramid Head from Silent Hill). Also I’m not an art major so my focus is on game mechanics and AI behaviors, and less on appearances. One of the scariest monsters I’ve had to fight in any game was… [Continue Reading]

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The Tenno Queen of the Pixies

I joined Warframe during the Specters of the Rail update. Not long afterwards, a new character was added, whose construction involved collecting ingredients on various planets, mainly Earth. This was great for newbie me, because it meant loads of high level players were around to do the harder mission types, like Mobile Defence and Survival. I would also see people actually taking their time on missions, something that would become a rare sight later on in my Warframe adventures. But eventually, I moved away from Earth and made my journey around the solar system. I saw a handful of people… [Continue Reading]

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The Planeswalker Helm

The Planeswalker Helm? That ugly-looking Medic helmet? Yes, that helmet that looks like the gutted-out carapace of a deformed shellfish slapped onto the Medic’s head. The Planeswalker Helm is a promotional item for for people who pre-ordered  Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers 2012. It’s based on Garruk Wildspeaker, a planeswalker, which is a sort of powerful ascended being in the Magic: The Gathering lore. Garruk himself is a 8 feet 2 inches, 480 lbs beast of a man who’s a warrior-druid that wields a pretty sweet axe and prefers the wild. About the only connection he has… [Continue Reading]

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