A Particularly Muffin-Filled Story

You may want to read this first.   “Hm…” Nuhvok-Kal shouldn’t have been awake. But he couldn’t sleep. Not when there was that feeling in his body. Since he’d arrived in this messed up, backwards world, he’d get this feeling occasionally. He didn’t like the feeling. Luckily, it was easy to get rid of. He just needed some form of sweetness. Normally, he’d have the sweetness made for him. But it was dark. No one else was awake. He needed to do this himself. The first thing Nuhvok did was sneak down stairs. Everyone else was asleep, but not everyone… [Continue Reading]

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The pan is mightier than the sword

Whoever decided to add a Frying Pan as a weapon in video games was the greatest genius who ever lived. Forget that Newton guy, who supposedly discovered calculus and invented gravity. Forget Einstein, who supposedly completely re-jigged gravity and its connection with time. The individual behind the Frying Pan shall rise far beyond these men and be forever remembered by the famous spam-quote: “Stout shako for two refined!” That’s right, I’m here to talk about the Demopan this time. I’d call him a perfect mascot for the game. He’s utterly ridiculous in every way, but somehow so effective and hilarious… [Continue Reading]

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2014 Saxxy Awards

Welp, time for the final four for each category to come in, while Valve try to decide which one is the best and make amusing blog posts about it all. This year though, I am impressed. The entirety of the Action and Comedy sections were ALL ones I votes for (although Tidehunter’s Tactics had a needlessly long blank screen at the end). Very impressive. The Shorts were all very good as well. Surprised that the silly one-day-before-entering thing got nominated, but that’s what the people’s votes do. Drama wasn’t as bad as last year, thankfully with only one soppy FemScout,… [Continue Reading]

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A Particularly Cake-Filled Story

The smell of sweet, freshly cooked sponge cake was insulting his nostrils. It wasn’t fair. He wanted cake. And he wanted it now. Nuhvok-Kal didn’t understand much these days. It felt like years since he had fought the Toa Nuva and been sucked into a black hole created by his own, out-of-control powers. He had no idea what had happened to his siblings. He didn’t even know if the nest or the Bahrag or anything still existed. He could have been completely alone. Except he wasn’t. The smell was taunting him through the gaps of the old, rusty ‘oven’. Not… [Continue Reading]

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Fourth Annual Saxxies and Arena:Respawn

Oh hey, the Saxxies are here again! Let me blow my trumpet of joy, throw my confetti of happiness and drink my bottle of sarcasm! Yeah, the Fourth Annual Saxxies are here, the contest with the worst drama category since, well, anything with a drama category, complete with a bunch of prizes that no one ever sees and a winner for one category that everyone will hate, probably with some winners being the same as last year. Alright, I’m just saying that because I’m in a bad mood, but the Saxxies are no longer about killing people and playing TF2, it’s… [Continue Reading]

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A collection of taunt suggestions

When I look back at the Love and War update, all I see is an awesome video, fat Engineers, a conga taunt, a stupid ‘shield’ and a parachute. That’s pretty much it. Nothing else really sort of stuck in my mind. Yes, we’ve got the Rock Paper Scissors taunt and taunts in which we headbutt each other, and the ability to high five enemy players (which is awesome mind you) but the taunts we got don’t cover what we really want. So I’m going to be lame and list a bunch of ideas of taunts we should have. The Handshake… [Continue Reading]

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Feminism and Team Fortress 2

I can hear you all screaming. I can hear the thundering footsteps of tumblr-based feminists stampeding towards us. We’re all doomed. Or at least you are, since I technically don’t exist. Alright, I’m kidding, you’re safe here (although maybe not for long). But since someone suggested this topic, something that hasn’t really been covered before, I thought, why not? My stance on the whole thing is rather, well, unique… If you just look at Team Fortress 2 at face value, you’d probably deem it as ‘propaganda for the patriarchy’ or something like that. Nine men of various sizes, shapes and… [Continue Reading]

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Battle of the Firespitters: Pyro vs Toa Vakama

Hello again. Are we all sitting comfortably? Good. You might want to stand up again, because your chair has just burst into flames. Along with the floor. Grab your computer and run, because two of the most hotheaded combatants in the universe are duelling just across the street. On one side is our masked, gloved and asbestos-clad Pyro. He/she is a very familiar being to us SPUFers. Specializing in ambush and close-range combat, the Pyro is a formidable beastie that skulks in the shadows. We don’t know very much about Pyro and probably never will. What we do know is… [Continue Reading]

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Five weapons that synergize with Britney Spears songs

As a bilingual user of the amazing music program called Spotify, I like to listen to some Anglo/Franco tunes while I’m playing TF2. Quietly enough so I can still hear Spies uncloaking, of course. And with my impeccable musical taste, I get Britney Spears tracks coming up a lot. In case I completely scrambled your brains with that intro, let me get to my point. You know when you’re doing something intensive and a particular song gets stuck in your head? Then you do that same thing later and the same song goes through your mind? I call this musical… [Continue Reading]

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Team Fortress 2 Weapons in Skyrim

This is one of those “does what it says on the tin title” articles, but if you’re in the mood for really utterly breaking the lore (and perhaps the law) in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, then this article is for you. First off, where do you get this glorious add on? Simple. The Steam Workshop. As much as the Nexus Mod Manager and all that are great, just clicking “subscribe” works well too. I found these mods by typing TF2 into the search bar. There are three addons for the TF2 weapons, a melee add on, a crossbow add… [Continue Reading]

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