Beating the First Game with the Worst Pokémon – Bonus Part 6

Yesterday we witnessed a drugged-out fish stumble drunkenly through the Elite Four like a bull in a china shop. Most champions would hang up the gloves and retire to a life of meditation and peaceful tranquility…but our hero is no ordinary karp. After being crowned the reigning titleholders of Kanto, Magikarp and I experience a credits-themed fever dream and regain consciousness outside mom’s house in Pallet Town. Our first objective is clear; there was a trainer in Victory Road whose Grass team was so chonky that I couldn’t defeat her even at level 100. Now that I’d beaten the game… [Continue Reading]

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Bumps in the Datascape, or why it’s worth waiting sometimes…

“Wow, Larunda’s busy today!” Volt exclaimed as he and Frost watched fellow Tenno go by. “I thought the Void Trader was at the Kronia relay?” “He is!” Frost tutted. “Everyone is coming here because they want to speak to Simaris and it’s slightly less busy here compared to Kronia.” “I know…” Volt shrugged. “I just assumed everyone would go to Kronia, kill two MOAs with one stone, right? Saves on fuel as well.” Frost glanced at Volt. “You have twenty million credits to your name and you’re worried about fuel costs?” “Hey, being careful is how I managed to get… [Continue Reading]

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Quizically.Unrefined.Botched.Experience.

No beating around the bush this time, let’s just start by saying I’m VERY glad I got this on sale for £4 because I still felt dissatisfied with what I received. I wasn’t expecting anything mind-blowing, just a decent length single-player puzzle game to mess around with between other games. The premise is simple enough: You’re trapped in a big ol’ cube in space with gloves which essentially act like TV remotes with less functionality. Press one button to interact/extend and the other to shorten. Solve the puzzles, progress, win. So far, so good, considering I just wanted some brain… [Continue Reading]

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A Negative Article About Overwatch

Let it not be said that these fellows are the only ones who can wax poetic about negatives in Overwatch. SilverWolf can, for example, and Medic, and even me. But this article is different. It’s all about literal negative numbers in Overwatch, values that are usually impossible but for whatever reason have managed to show up where players least expect it. None of them were intentional, and in most cases Blizzard has already patched them. It’s a slow news day. 1. Negative Ultimate charge! If you’re tired of getting Play of the Game as Bastion, you can intentionally self-damage yourself while… [Continue Reading]

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Payday the Heist: Bugs that Make a Difference

Every game comes with bugs, and the Payday franchise has some pretty memorable ones. While most of the funniest are in the sequel, the really useful ones survive in the first game because the devs don’t update it anymore, meaning that a number of strats have entered the high-level playbook despite being slightly different from what the developers intended. 1. Reviving people through walls. This is the most famous bug, and even low-level players should know this one. You can interact with objectives, equipment, and players through almost anything, the only requirement is that you’re in range. This lets you take cover in… [Continue Reading]

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My Favorite Payday 2 Glitches

Payday 2 is built on an outdated engine and has received years upon years of updates, new content, and balance tweaks. Completely divergent mechanics like flamethrowers, explosives, grenades, vehicles, and weapon skins have found their way into the original relatively-simple gameplay, not to mention an ambitious skill system with infinite combinations of dozens of abilities. This is a prime environment for some completely insane glitches! 5. When the Arkansas Toothpick granted 230 Concealment. I think Overkill meant to buff it from 27 to 30, but forgot to finish deleting the old value. Maximum armor, RPG, and Flamethrower? No problem, guards will never see… [Continue Reading]

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Little-Known TF2 Mechanics

In order to make this list, said TF2 mechanic needs to (1) heavily affect some aspect of playing the game normally, (2) be completely unexplained or hidden, and (3) be something I somehow only learned in 2016 despite my pathological addiction to analyzing every facet of this game. I’ve divided the list into three “major” and three “minor” mechanics. Major 1: Projectile Models on some weapons affect aerodynamics. Several of the projectiles in TF2 actually care about the drag on the fired projectile, which means that, for example, most of the grenade launchers fire even more differently than their stats… [Continue Reading]

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Five Things Valve Didn’t Intend for the Sandman to Do

When the Sandman debuted during the Scout Update, Valve broke new ground regarding ranged melee weapons. Not since the Direct Hit has Team Fortress 2 been given a more spammable immediate-range weapon that crits like crazy, since the Sandman’s baseball shares the bat’s increased melee crit chance. However, perhaps because of its unusual design, there have been a number of bizarre exploits associated with this weapon over the years and a few of these are still in the game today. 5. Hitting the ball through thin walls. Setup gates, windows, just random walls that happen to be narrow enough; the scout… [Continue Reading]

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The Deadliest Ringer

The Dead Ringer is a bizarre watch. Taking the feign death concept from Team Fortress Classic and really running with it, this watch has been the source of more bugs and issues than any other aspect of the most buggy class in Team Fortress 2. There’s also the question of just how a watch can get away with so many bizarre long-standing machinations like the few in this list. Even in a world where cigarettes can summon disguises and piss can selectively extinguish, it’s still pretty hard to rationally explain how a watch can: 1. Regenerate health. If you intentionally start taking… [Continue Reading]

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4 Even MORE Reasons to Bind a Key to Suicide

When I wrote “4 Reasons to Bind a Key to Suicide“, I was certainly expecting that to be a one-off article. When I surprised myself by finding 4 more, I once again figured that had to be it. How many different competitive advantages could TF2 possibly have for dropping dead on the spot? Well, as my recent video shows, the new weapon-pickup mechanic has introduced a whole host of new ways a player can have fun with their loadout slots by granting themselves multiple copies of weapons to pick up. As its preceding article noted, two major exploits involve the Demoman… [Continue Reading]

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