Skyrim

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Alduin and Amputators – Medic in Skyrim part 8

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This is it, ladies and gentlemen! This is the big one! After fighting my way through Skuldafn, I’m finally here in the Nord afterlife. Which makes no sense because I’m an Imperial (apparently) and I shouldn’t be here. Before we continue, if you haven’t, you should read parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 So it’s pretty here. Very pretty. I mean, just look at the sky. Shame about all the mist. It’s misty and pretty. I bump into someone in the fog. A Stormcloak. Going on about how a giant dragon is going around eating people. Unfortunately,… [Continue Reading]

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Magic and Malpractice – Medic in Skyrim part 7

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We’re off to trap a dragon! Somehow. Dragonsreach in Whiterun is now ours to use, after our somewhat successful negotiations from last time. I accidentally wake up the Jarl and tell him I’m ready. But before I set off, I dump my piles of bones and crap from the previous two adventures in my chest in Breezehome. I climb onto the giant balcony and shout Odahviing’s name. After a few seconds of silence, I hear dragon roars. The guard standing right on the edge of the balcony shouts “did you hear that?” before being grabbed by Odahviing and thrown into… [Continue Reading]

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Neglect and Negotiations – Medic in Skyrim part 6

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I’m still here in Skyrim, with an Elder Scroll and the blood of a dragon. It only took me an hour or so of walking to get this damn scroll (see last time round)  so let’s get on with this. From where I appear out in the wilderness, I find this place. Never known what it’s used for. I take a blessing of Talos and leave for the Throat of the World. I think. On my way there, I stumble across this jester, Cicero. Shrill voice aside, he needs help and the person in the mill nearby seems unwilling to… [Continue Reading]

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Crossbows and Colleges – Medic in Skyrim part 5

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Oh hello again! I’ve just got back from visiting Paarthunax. Nice guy. Taught me a shout. Then told me that I needed an Elder Scroll. I suppose the name of the series would appear at some point to bite me in the backside. I’ve been asking around. Everyone’s clueless. Someone suggests that I ask Esbern, but I’m on the Throat of the World, I’ll be damned if I’m walking back to their lame fortress to ask a question I’m certain no one knows the answer to. But the Greybeards suggest I go to the college of Winterhold. So I do… [Continue Reading]

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Stealing and Syringes – Medic in Skyrim part 4

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Tamriel is in peril again, and only one man can save it… Medic! Last time, we were ruining a party. Now, we’re back here again, battling dragons. And woo, I have seen a lot of dragons. Today alone I killed 5 of the bastards. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, you Dovah are cool… Anyway, this time, I find this Esbern guy everyone’s bragging about. Time to head to the Ratway, because Brynjolf told me to. Apparently Esbern is down here somewhere… You know, if it wasn’t for the blood, this would be a really nice little place to sit… [Continue Reading]

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Potions and Partypoopers – Medic in Skyrim part 3

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Oh hey, it’s been a while, but I finally fired up that dodgy teleporter to continue my travels in Tamriel! Last time I was here, I killed a dragon. Then Delphine decided to be useful for two seconds. Unfortunately, after killing that dragon, half my screenshots disappeared. Not that it really matters, because all I did in the meantime was go to Windhelm, which wasn’t very far off, get into a fight with some guy who bet 100 gold he could best me in a fight (spoiler: he couldn’t…) then headed back to Breezehome to dump my stuff. I also… [Continue Reading]

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Catastrophe Averted?

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It’s just typical that, when I take a week off from writing articles (thank you, aabicus!) and just post the backlog of stuff that I already have (again, thank you aabicus), that everything starts blowing up. Big time. Now I’m sitting here, writing this article and being massively late on everything that’s happened. On the plus side, I can sit here all smug and go over it all with you. On the 23rd of April, Valve announced a new way to support modders. This was the brand spanking new Paid Mods for the Skyrim Workshop. Basically, some mods now required… [Continue Reading]

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Medics and Monsters – Medic in Skyrim Part 2

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Ah, I’m back in Tamriel, kicking ass as always! Last time I was just getting started. Today, I finish up finding a damn horn for some reason, and things are rainy and crappy. Anyway, off I go. Oh, and excuse the syringe gun poking out of my back, not to mention the ammo box. You gotta keep this stuff somewhere, right? So, I’ve entered this cave, and the first thing I spot is the large number of dead bodies. Sadly, there’s little I can harvest off them. I forgot my scalpel and my jars of preserving alcohol. Dammit. Although the… [Continue Reading]

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Syringes and Skeletons – Medic in Skyrim Part 1

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So, I’m finally doing it. I’m playing through Skyrim as the Medic. Literally. Thanks to a bunch of mods that put a bunch of TF2 weapons into Skyrim, all held incredibly awkwardly, as well as an actually rather terrifying piece of armor that makes me look like various mercenaries, I can finally start a new game and not get bored. Of course, being the Medic, I’ve set up a few rules for myself: I have to wear my Medic armor for the entirety of the game. Because this armor doesn’t scale though (it’s basically iron armor for ever), I will… [Continue Reading]

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Where’s my Dragon Simulator?

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When I’m not busy sticking syringes into Scouts and shoving modified fire hoses up people’s backsides, I like to think I’m a dragon. Dragons are such awesome creatures and because they don’t exist, anyone can imagine dragons to look however they want. Cool eh? A thread titled dragons on SPUF instantly grabbed my attention but left me disappointed. But one thing I have always felt this world lacks is a decent dragon simulator. There is currently a game called Dragon: The Game on Steam, but it’s so Early Access that it’s barely an alpha. And it costs €17. Fuck that.… [Continue Reading]

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