weapons

Unboxing… Stuff

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You know, last time I spoke about this, I bitched and whined about how my brother always unboxes the best shit ever. Sister also did unboxing and got… stuff. It actually kinda got me thinking about things. There’s a huge number of crates around. I’m pretty certain we’ve sailed past the 100 crates mark. The Gun Mettle cases, the Invasion ones, the Gargoyle Cases, they’ve surely put us past 100, right? Unless you’re going to be pedantic and say they’re cases, not crates. If you still need a key to open them, they’re still essentially crates. But the majority of… [Continue Reading]

How to Explore Your TF2 Early Years

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I only recently noticed that Valve revamped the backpack system at some point. Perhaps the rest you already knew this, but you can now sort your backpack by date. If you’re ever feeling pensive, I encourage you to do so temporarily, and go check out the oldest things in your backpack. It’s been a long time since you first played TF2. What’s the oldest weapon you still possess? For me, apparently it’s a self-crafted Vita-Saw, the third oldest item in my backpack. I have no idea why this Vita-Saw has survived this long, except I guess Valve has never given… [Continue Reading]

Oh hey, Invasion is here.

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Oh hey, Invasion is here. And it’s pretty much replaced the Halloween event, running until November 5th with the Invasion Pass. Basically this update is a gigantic community Gun Mettle Update, with the contributors doing all of the work and Valve still getting a good bit of the rewards. Same as before, do challenges in-game on official servers and get weapons, or get special rare crates that need keys to open. Of course this is all locked to people who buy the pass, which is $2-ish, depending on where you’re from. So no stuff for people who don’t want to… [Continue Reading]

The Future for Decorated Weapons

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Originally I wanted nothing to do with the new decorated weapons. I knew they’d make Valve another fortune of microtransaction money, but you don’t have to be Warren Buffet to realize that. I just thought they looked unanimously stupid, especially when the majority looked like someone plastered wrapping paper on them. Plus the rest of TF2 doesn’t have that scratched scuffed appearance, for the most part the buildings are clean and the weapons will have bright red bloodstains at worse. I’m sure it worked for CS:GO but just wholecloth porting the concept over without alterations seemed as phoned-in as the strange weapons… [Continue Reading]

Couldn’t care less…

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I could not care less about weapon skins. No, really. I never bought into the Gun Mettle contract because I have shit luck and, even if I bought into it straight away, I would have only made a few Steam bucks rather than any actual real money. Pretty much everything because worthless within three or four weeks, unless you happened to get a decent strange or an unusual weapon, and even just strange ones are pretty damn uncommon. Yes, you can trade up your weapons, but the damage had already been done. What for though? Medic weapon skins are all… [Continue Reading]

On Mercenaries and Munchies

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Look at that Heavy, sitting there, nomming on his sandvich while his Medic buddy burns alive. Look at that Scout abusing the ever-loving heck out of his over-buffed Crit-a-Cola and critting everyone to death. Look at that other Scout failing miserably at using Bonk! Atomic Punch to sneak behind the enemy team and be useful. Why is it that only Scout and Heavy get to eat mid-battle? Well, first off, eating in the middle of a fight is rather impractical. Both Heavies and Scouts need to find cover to consume their consumables, but anyone who wishes to pause to do… [Continue Reading]

TF2 weapons vs Fallout weapons Part 2: The destructive powers of jars of urine verses dismembered mutated body parts

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Howdy partner! Part one is that way! Otherwise, continue on the road to Madness.    #5. Sasha vs K9000 cyberdog gun What does a person look for in a weapon? Firepower? Good looks? Being fear inducing? Being financially viable? How about companionship? Yes, the wiseman knows that during the periods of time he isn’t killing foes, it can get lonely. Medic isn’t nearby, your companion is stuck in that doorway again, so who will listen to your terrible poetry? Well at least you have your gun… Now just take Occam’s razor to this situation and POW! A new friend who will… [Continue Reading]

TF2 weapons vs Fallout weapons Part 1: Guns that make holes in people

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Team Fortress 2 and the Fallout series are both well known for having a dizzying selection of firepower to command, and while the choice can be overwhelming, there is a gun to suit all manners of tastes. Yet the universal truth is no two weapons are created equal. To answer the ultimate question of which game has the better quality of create-dead-people-emitters, I will examine 18 weapons from both the TF2 and Fallout universes. There will be 9 comparisons; 1 for each TF2 class. Some quick rules for fairness; All Fallout weapons will be assumed to be fully upgraded and… [Continue Reading]

Art time with Medic – Cardboard Shotgun

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Hello everyone! In today’s article, I’m going to show you how to make a shotgun out of cardboard. Why cardboard? Oh, there’s loads of reasons. Although it’s not as sturdy as wood or metal, cardboard is far lighter, cheaper, easier to use, more forgiving if you screw up and it uses old stuff that you were only going to throw away anyway. So, let’s begin!

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