So, as some of you may have heard, Gunslingers VS Highlanders season 3 concluded the other day, after a hard struggle on both sides and a lot of mess and confusion. You probably read that post announcing the winners. If you didn’t, it was a tie. Four maps, one of which fatally crashed, with mini-sentries everywhere. Why am I writing about this when you’ve probably already heard about it? Well, I think you should know how it feels like, being on the Highlander side. As the team’s Medic.
If you haven’tguessed by now, I have something of a fondness for horrible unbalanced maps. With the right loadouts, you can become the undisputed king of these horrible spamfests, it just requires a significant amount of time playing them with an open mind, and always trying new things.
For example, when I’m flying around this map with my Sticky Jumper, for once my trusty Locomotive Pain Train is no use considering there are no control points. So instead I bust out the Ullapool Caber for this first tip:
If you were to ask me what I thought the most versatile weapon slot in TF2 is, I’d say Scout secondary. Unlocks in that section vary from pistols to drinkables, to throwables that either deal damage or leave status effects. (If Valve ever releases the Scout and Medic Grordbort sets, that’ll add a laser weapon to the list). Of all the classes, scout is the one I have the most different loadouts for. Most classes it’s more like “Every so often my Pain Train isn’t needed, so I equip Caber,” or “If I’m using the Quick-Fix, I might as well equip Syringe Gun over crossbow because I’m committed to mediocrity” but with Scout the whole loadout changes with the secondary. Today I’m going to go over the diverse selection of Scout secondaries and what I like to equip with them. (Including cosmetics! I always try to grab cosmetics that match the secondary for scout, mainly because the game has decided that every cosmetic that drops for aabicus must be scout-equippable.)
For everyone who plays Team Fortress 2 and is at least not a potato, it’s clear as day why Battle Medics are never a good idea. Although Medics have that little speed boost and regenerating health, their weaponry simply isn’t built for fighting. This, on top of a lack of heavy-class health and no true, reliable advanced mobility, is a recipe for disaster. Plus, it annoys your team mates, who are probably on fire right now.
But just how bad is a Medic’s weaponry when it comes to fighting? Let’s start with the basics. We’ll concentrate on primary weapons, because Medi Guns obviously can’t do damage, and melee weapons are, well, melee weapons. Only Demoknights and Pyros can really pull off melee-only combat, and even then, that’s due to unlocks. We’ll look at this by pitting an imaginary Battle Medic against the average Scout.
Solve “The Mystery of Your Opponent’s Remaining Hit Points” without even having to equip the Sherlock Medic set! Picture by Gen. DeGroot.
Most Medics I know run with the Ubersaw. That’s understandable, it’s a nice weapon. It looks good. It’s useful. It’s balanced. It’s fun to use. And if you see a dumb Spy or an AFK Sniper, you’ve just got yourself free Uber. The Ubersaw also has a fancy kill taunt. A while ago, it used to be silent, so you could hide around corners and catch people unaware with it, just like the Stab Stab Stab taunt.
Some other Medics use the Amputator. When the Medieval Medic set was around, it was a great weapon, but to be fair, no one really used it for the taunt heals. They just used it alongside the everglorious Crusader’s Crossbow to get that lovely regenerating health. These days, it’s about as useful as the Bone Saw.
Lame Medics though use the Vita-Saw. Most Medics seem to agree that the Vita-Saw isn’t exactly balanced, since it rewards Medics who die a lot, and it messes with the eternal question of who has Uber advantage. And it’s got a silly downside.
When I first made this blog, I was planning on having a lot of posts just dedicated to single weapons, like how the first post ever was about the Half-Zatoichi. However this hasn’t really happened, so now I’m going to try to incorporate more of them into our standard rotation. Because Valve has added some very cool weapons with unique stats into TF2.
My favorite is the Crusader’s Crossbow! Unique from the Syringe Gun unlocks in the Medic primary slot, it fires a single bolt (which recently became a bolt and not an arrow during the July 10th Update) that can heal teammates or damage enemies, dealing/healing more the further it flies. If this sounds like a long-range healing tool, you are right. But there are several other uses for it that people don’t give enough credit, and here are my favorite:
Spufblog: Hey everybody! Today we’re going to be interviewing Maxillaws, one of SPUF’s most prolific posters and a sniper main. He’s going to be playing Sniper for the SPUF team in the recently announced “SPUF vs. Discussions II: Requiem.” Today’s topic of conversation: The Razorback. Widely derided as a joke secondary and one of the worst weapons Valve ever added to Team Fortress 2. But Maxillaws disagrees. Why is that?
It blocks a single type of a single attack of a single melee weapon on a single class! Can that really be worth it? Picture by FeelGoodInc.
Ah, pyro. Pyro pyro pyro. How SPUF can’t seem to make up its mind about you.
On one hand, even pyro mains think he needs a buff. His weapons are all incredibly close-range save the flare guns, his primary only seems good at inconveniencing the enemy, to the extent that the Degreaser is far more popular because it allows combos with afterburn (often touted as the only thing afterburn is good for.)
If it’s not that, its the ability to remove sappers from friendly buildings, or the ability to gain full health+crits with Phlog, or the ability to…basically do anything. If Soldier is TF2′s jack-of-all-trades, Pyro is its master-of-none.
So I’m here to end all that. The reason nobody thinks pyro is balanced…is because they aren’t using the right loadout. I present to you; the Degreaser-Manmelter-Sharpened Volcano Fragment-Jingle Belt.
Seriously. I’ve NEVER seen this loadout in years of TF2. Must be a well-kept secret.
Shotgun Heavy, AKA “Fat Scout”, is a method of playing Heavy by attacking and killing enemies with only your secondary and melee weapons. Not a supremely easy (or even very effective) strategy, it is more for use in the mindset of not entirely caring or messing around. As such, if you are in a situation that you playing Shotgun Heavy is a pure detriment to your team and is causing your team to lose, don’t do it; more, reserve Shotgun Heavy for times when you’re on a team that is good enough to where you can essentially do whatever you want, or you are on a server specifically for messing around, such as any dm server, hightower, pubs, etc.
