Medic – Page 287 – The Daily SPUF

Scream Fortress 2013 is LIVE!

October 30, 2013 by Medic

Well, the update is up. PLR_Helltower, based off Hightower. It’s the most horrific, nonsensical, spammy Halloween update ever. But at least Medics got something cool: Medic’s Crusader Crossbow now silently reloads when unholstered, similar to Pyro flaregun. In PvP Medics can now see the clip status of a patient’s active weapon Here’s the rest of the update info. About time, don’t you think? Anyway, there’s spell books, a haunted island, all sorts. Explosions everywhere. Fire everywhere. Spells everywhere. Skeletons everywhere… Everything everywhere!

Mangling Cows with Lasers

October 28, 2013 by Medic

"What have I told you about mangling cows?" — “What have I told you about mangling cows?”

Everyone and their dog seems to hate the Dr Grordbort weapons, what with their fancy, overly sci-fi look, their overly bright lasers and their overly broken stats and abilities. The Pomson is hated by all but the most stubborn of Engineers. The Phlogistinator is only ever truly considered useful for destroying tanks in Mann VS Machine. The Eureka Effect breaks Arena Mode. And the Third Degree is a direct upgrade.

But only one of these weapons has given its name to an illness. Yes, the Cow Mangler 5000. But since it was changed, it’s recovered from its debilitating disease. Almost.

An Odd Relationship…

October 25, 2013 by Medic

A healthy relationship or a tentative relationship?

The Heavy Weapons Guy. Often considered the best pocket for newbie Medics. It’s a very strange relationship. Hand the Heavy-Medic connection to strange fans and they’ll do wonders or, more often, horrific stuff with it.

It’s funny, sometimes, I can’t make a decision on what to write, but most of the time, I find I’m writing stuff because someone’s mentioned it. Or they just want to see me write something from the view of, um, me. Because I’m clearly really that mercenary who goes around healing people, and I’m quite obviously canon. This leads to an odd scenario. People start asking me questions and I feel I have to answer them. Both in a canon and non-canon way. Quite a conundrum. Throughout this article, I’ll be answering some of these questions. Hopefully.

A Flood of Hats

October 24, 2013 by Medic

This year, we have been flooded by hats. Literally, flooded. Do you know how many new hats we’ve had this year? Do you know how many hats there are in TF2? According to the Team Fortress 2 wiki, there are 380 hats. And there are 306 miscellaneous items. Plus the 25 items from the recent update. That’s 701 items.

Unusuals – A Thought

October 23, 2013 by Medic

A while ago, when the Robocrates first came out, I was playing Team Fortress with my sibling, and he unboxed an unusual. A Disco Beat Down Whoopee Cap. A pretty effect on an average Scout hat. I’d seen quite a few people unboxing unusuals that day, and a lot more people trying their luck, unboxing a million Strange Bottles and Fireaxes. I was among the people who didn’t unbox an unusual, although I managed to get a white paint from a #4 crate.

Heavy Picnics and Other Amusing Mini-Games

October 22, 2013 by Medic

Most people seem to hate friendly Heavies. You know, those Heavies who wander around maps, Sandvich in hand, not actually doing any killing. Free points if they’re on the enemy team, a waste of a slot if they’re on yours. But when everyone on a server is being a friendly Heavy, that means they can be easily swayed by your will. And your voice, particularly if you have one of those deep, gentlemannly, British voices or happen to be obviously female.

But now we have a server full of willing players under our command, what can we do with them? Play games with them, of course!

An Interview with the Person Behind Everything

October 21, 2013 by Medic

"Damn, why does Valve keep on breaking servers?" — “Damn, why does Valve keep on breaking servers?”

In this article, we’ll be chatting with the mastermind behind the SPUFserver and the person who makes the Daily SPUF work! And he does lots of other cool things too. We’ll be discussing the stresses of running a server and how you shouldn’t bash server owners. Unless they’re servers running Pinion for the sake of making money. No, this wonderful person puts his own blood, sweat and tears into making us happy…

Six Shots

October 20, 2013 by Medic

Ah, ain't she a beaut? — Ah, ain’t she a beaut?

Ah, the Shotgun, everyone’s favourite stock weapon. Last time we covered it, we were talking about Fat Scouts (i.e. Heavies) but this time, we’re talking about Soldiers. Before we start, a little-known fact about me, Soldier is my second most played class, a fact that has been firmly reinforced since I faced a horde of beeping monstrosities. Being the all-rounder that Soldier is, the Shotgun is, in his hands, one of the most powerful tools around, despite the fact that he also has a bloody rocket launcher.

But why?

They See Me Snipin’, They Hatin’…

October 19, 2013 by Medic

Does this seem familiar? Picture by Medic.

Let’s face it. We hate Snipers. In every single Remove A Class thread on SPUF, the class that gets picked on the most is the Sniper. Despite his loud-mouthed insults, his only-just Australian accent and his ability to throw jars of urine around, people still despise the poor guy. It’s not his fault though, it’s just the way he was designed!

The question is, why does everyone hate Sniper? Is it his bad accent? His lack of Mannliness? Finding five of them on a team of twelve? All those jars of urine? The Bushwacka? Not quite.

A Chat with a Fellow SPUFer

October 17, 2013 by Medic

In today’s article, we’ll be chatting with a SPUF regular who can often be found lurking around the Medic Subform. This fine player made himself famous for clearly explaining how the Quick Fix simply didn’t work before this year’s buff. After being abandoned by a Combat Medic, this fine fellow vowed to do his best to help others.