December 23rd-29th

This week is our sparsest yet, and we can almost definitely chalk this up to it coinciding with Valve’s traditional vacation time at the end of the year. Since 2007, there have only been 2 updates during this week: The first, December 23rd 2010, has some interesting things. The Crusader’s Crossbow got its textures updated, and Valve revealed the stats to the Quick-Fix for the first time. This update also turned on double-drop week, the first of three times this has ever happened. This update also contained a cryptic change: “Added strings related to the Gadget Token to tf_english.txt.” We… [Continue Reading]

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Advanced Doomsday Strats (and some glitches)

Since my last article on sd_doomsday, I’ve played the map a lot more, and learned a lot more about how to maximize your presence and worth on the battlefield. I’ve also learned a couple of glitches with the map, and since I don’t have enough of either to justify its own article, today we’re killing two monkeys with one stone. Strat 1- Best rollout: This is, in my opinion, the most optimal way a single player can spend the opening minute of the round to help his team: sticky-jumping over to the enemy intel door and controlling it before they… [Continue Reading]

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Force-A-Nature: The Superior Scattergun

The Force A-Nature is a peculiar weapon. Seemingly underpowered, people constantly set it aside in their backpacks to collect dust or be converted into metal, but does it deserve this kind of treatment? I say ‘No, of course not!” The Force-A-Nature is different weapon, like the Quick-Fix. You have to think differently. Think mobility and disorientation. The FaN trades off six shots and a little damage for two shots, more pellets, knockback, and faster firing speed. At first glance, you may think “Why on earth would I use this? Six shots is much better than two, and knockback is a… [Continue Reading]

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Smissmas 2013: A Completely On-Time Review

Merry Smissmas everyone! Today I’d like to talk to you ab- What’s that? It’s already 2014, you say? Maybe I wrote this on the 21st of December and Aabicus screwed something up again. Regardless, it’s time to discuss the somewhat divisive Teufort festivities that we got this time around. Also, a note to those who read my only other article thus far… I promise this isn’t going to be another complaint-fest about me losing my toys. This is my attempt at an article that actually matters. If my last entry was a page in some crappy tabloid, this is my… [Continue Reading]

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Explaining Ubercharges to Patients

“So there I was, Uber ready to go, and the Heavy spinning up his minigun. I tell him, I’m about to deploy my uber, get ready. It’s time to go. I deploy my ubercharge, and the stupid Heavy fails to kill ANYONE!” I bet that sounds pretty familiar to most of you Medics out there. I too have been in the same situation, and I have spent a long time trying to work out how to fix it. Of course, results my vary, as some people understand Medics, others don’t.

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The New Popper-Cola Combo

Let’s face it: The new Soda Popper is pretty sweet. The new movement mechanic activated from hype that causes the Scout to have up to 5 jumps after getting off the ground has a far better purpose than farming situational mini-crits. It still does good damage without the mini-crits. I believe the weapon was buffed rather than nerfed, since there still isn’t a damage penalty that doesn’t allow you to land two good meatshots identical to the Scattergun’s damage. But besides that, what we’re overlooking right now is how it affects the old Popper-Cola Combo (Soda Popper + Crit-a-Cola of… [Continue Reading]

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December 15th-December 22nd

If you want to pick a single week to play TF2 every year, this is the week. Huge updates almost every year. Our oldest landmark patch yet sneaks in this timeframe; the last patch of the original Quake Team Fortress (which had moved over to QuakeWorld at this point) was released in December 22, 1996. Have you wondered why some friendly soldiers and demomen will start shooting themselves while you heal them during setup time? Obviously in regular play this can help you build Uber, but the Uber rate cut at >142.5% doesn’t apply to setup times, right? Well, it… [Continue Reading]

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Sniper melees and you!

Sniping’s a good job indeed, but there are people who really want to avoid all that polite and efficient bussiness and bludgeon you to death with a golf trophy. Wankers. Then you have to sigh, take your favourite oversized knife and stick it to their bodies until they are no more. Here we are again, 3rd attempt to jam all the useful melee information in your brains. This time we’ll cover Sniper’s melees. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) there aren’t many Sniper melees… Let’s check them anyways. Your stock kukri is geniously named Kukri. As always, its reskins are Frying Pan, Conscientious Objector, Freedom Staff,… [Continue Reading]

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How to Host Your Own SPUF Event (It’s Easy!)

The SPUF server has been home to many fun events over the years, from the juggernaut semi-competitive events like SPUF vs. SPUD and ever popular Gunslinger vs. Highlander series, to smaller sillier events like The Guillotine Games and tomorrow’s WAR Update Part 2. Have you ever had an idea for an event, but weren’t sure if you have what it takes to run it? My first event ever was the first Demoknights vs. Demomen, created by The Pyro King and abandoned by The Pyro King. I still wanted the event to happen and saw many others did too, so I… [Continue Reading]

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How to Reach the Max’s Severed Head in trade_portal2_beta5

Check out that glorious display of health and ammo next to that high-tier cosmetic on the table. Want to show all your teammates this secret treat? Whenever I play trade_portal2_beta5 (an increasingly common map on the trade servers I frequent) this is often my goal as I pass the time; to get a teleporter over there. Here’s how.

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