What happens on cp_orange…

cp_orange_x3 might just be my favorite custom map in all of TF2, for entirely the wrong reasons. It was there for me, man. From the beginning. And it’s always been there for me. cp_orange_3’s immortal popularity is no surprise to me; it’s a memory featherwight. You can play it on anything. For two months after graduating college I lived in a 125-square foot apartment with two roommates in San Francisco. I didn’t even have room for a desktop, I could only use my laptop on my bed and steal internet from the hotel next door. The only map I could play… [Continue Reading]

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Return of the Beta

So 2014 was the year of the Beta. Or at least the return of the Beta. What Beta you ask? The Team Fortress 2 Beta. The birthplace of the Detonator. The testing grounds of the Overdose. That really weird thing that everyone ignored. Well, part of it is back. Interesting things lie ahead. The TF2 Beta though died a long time ago. I have a screenshot of its one year death day somewhere. But the reasons it died were relatively clear. Instead of being part of TF2, you had to download another 12GB of TF2 Beta, most of which sat… [Continue Reading]

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Spicing Up Medieval Mode

Who remembers Medieval Mode? It’s hard to forget it, what with its unique premise, acceptable breaks from its own premise and a game balance that I don’t think anyone truly understands. But I’ve been having trouble finding populated Medieval servers, and this saddens me because for what its got, I enjoy the balance between the classes. But I think there are definitely some things that could improve the game mode. At the core of things, it could really do with some more content. Right now it suffers from a limited version of Territorial Control-syndrome, where the mode concept is fine… [Continue Reading]

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The End of the Line Is Here

So, after three weeks of crates and a year of hype, the End of the Line, the second Community Update after Robotic Boogaloo, has finally, FINALLY arrived. Finally. What’s in this fancy update, you ask? Let’s count. The fancy, voiceless 14 minute video, the End of the Line, featuring a train with a bomb on it and Scout as always. 21 cosmetics, as seen in the End of the Line video. A variant of the sitting Pyro taunt. Something to do with ducks. Four new unusual effects. One multi-class weapon. Keys for those crates we’ve been deleting over the last 3… [Continue Reading]

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cp_Junction, What’s Your Function?

If you haven’t heard of cp_Junction, I can’t say I blame you. Buried in the back of the server rotation with tc_Hydro and pl_Nightfall is this peculiar, subterranean Attack/Defend map known as Junction that almost no server ever runs. Featuring cramped, narrow halls, sparse cover, and a very restricted layout, this map is an oddity amongst TF2 maps. Why do people avoid or otherwise not play on this map? Well, that’d be because… it’s a pretty bad map. So let’s investigate one of TF2’s lesser-known maps, shall we? The promo image can tell you quite a bit about Junction, and… [Continue Reading]

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Scream Fortress 6 is here!

Yep, Scream Fortress is here! And it’s really bloody insane. There’s spells! And curses! And Carnival stuff! And BUMPER CARTS! Yeah, seriously. Alright, first things first, the basics. Merasmus forgot to build his evil carnival on top of an ancient burial ground and is now hiring you to do that for him. Said carnival is actually a variant of SD_Doomsday. You get the tickets (not the Australium) to the giant lift and then you get sent to a bumper carts minigame. That’s pretty much it. Actually, it’s not, but we’ve got a ton of articles coming up about all this!… [Continue Reading]

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The Perils of Posing in Garry’s Mod

Let’s just clarify right from the start that I am too stubborn and too dumb to use Source Film Maker. It runs poorly on my laptop and I just can’t get my head around it. Plus, I’m very much invested in Garry’s Mod now. The only reason I play TF2 is because I wanted Garry’s Mod and the cartoony shooter looked better than the serious shooter. Since that fateful day, I have been posing things in Garry’s Mod. All my pictures on this blog are from Garry’s Mod or are taken in-game in Team Fortress 2. Dekky does his images… [Continue Reading]

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Team Fortress 2 Updates, August 27th

Hiya peeps. Just a quick post to chat about the recent updates. Turns out there were two of them. Before we start, here are the actual update notes: Added a new promo item Client/server memory improvements Fixed ragdolls not applying the ice/gold effect for cosmetic items Fixed the Australium Scattergun material looking pixelated Fixed some issues with clipped text in the localized versions Fixed the difficulty of the current challenge not displaying correctly in the MvM scoreboard Snipers can no longer jump immediately after firing a scoped shot Updated the materials for The Dalokohs Bar Updated the equip_region for The… [Continue Reading]

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Dear VALVe: Please Don’t Add Low Gravity to Any Official Map

One of the most worrisome requests I’m seeing from numerous people is for Valve to add low gravity in some form to rd_asteroid. I understand that it would be thematically appropriate, but I’ve played on lowgrav servers and it screws with class balance in all the wrong ways. Before requesting lowgrav, I highly encourage you to go try out a lowgrav trade server just so you get a feel of what lowgrav does to a playstyle. Scout in particular becomes downright infuriating to play. His dodging/strafing ability becomes crippled when every time his feet leave the ground he blimps slowly… [Continue Reading]

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Some Under-loved Weapons Which Shine on rd_asteroid

When I first played rd_asteroid, my eventual thoughts were…meh. It’s decent, but before I really understood the map and the game mode it was confusing to the point of frustration. And once I’d played it long enough that it was no longer confusing, its many flaws just seemed to hamper my ability to enjoy myself. A whole lot of classes seem underpowered on this map and several design choices (especially the plethora of overly-good sentry spots) only make it worse. But the more I played, the more I slowly realized that a number of my problems were due to my… [Continue Reading]

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