story

How I think the rest of the TF2 comic will go

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Alright. I’m done. I’m tired of the stupid TF2 comic continuing to not exist. It was supposed to be a bi-monthly comic, starting in August of 2013. TWO THOUSAND AND THIRTEEN. It is now July TWO THOUSAND AND SIXTEEN. IT HAS BEEN NEARLY THREE YEARS. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK? No, seriously, this is beyond ridiculous. It’s beyond Valve Time. It’s reaching Half-Life 3 levels of silliness. There’s more proof of the existence of Left 4 Dead 3 than there is for TF Comics #6. It’s depressing. So here I am, making up my own ending. Someone should buy me cookies… [Continue Reading]

Tea with Death

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Tea with Death is a series of stories set in the Phoviverse, following the hugely conflicted god-like being Tenuk as he meets up with the one being who can truly kill him, Death herself. Each episode is set at its own semi-random point in time. This story chronicles the first meeting between these strange beings. The rest of the series can be found in the Tea with Death section of the Phoviverse wiki. This was supposedly the afterlife. Heaven. The shores of Kinigi, to go by its proper name. It didn’t look like anything Tenuk expected. No fluffy clouds or… [Continue Reading]

DC and the F2P: Initiation – TF2 Pub Tales

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These excerpts were found within the diaries of DC’s sister, among some cinders and next to a pair of Pyrovision Goggles.    The Prologue So there my sister DC was, sitting around in her chair, mumbling about hats and projectiles and typing away some kind of nonsense. She’s been at it for nearly a year now, a year of me waking up in the middle of the night sometimes when she screams for a doctor or just madly cries out to no one in particular. I have reason to believe that her participation in Team Fortress 2 has caused her to… [Continue Reading]

Day of the Demoman

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Something strange has happened recently… I figured I’d talk to you lovely people about it. (That isn’t the strange bit, but hang in there!) I’ve always disliked most explosive damage weapons in games, especially in multiplayer. I find them wholly unsatisfying and irritating as they often are capable of the performance of weapons with much higher skill requirements without the need for the aforementioned skill. I like knowing I’ve earned a kill. Not just gotten one via a panic mash of button presses. Hence why when you get killed for the fifth time in a match by a Soldier shooting… [Continue Reading]

A Distinct Lack of Comics and Love

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I LOVE the TF2 comics. I really do. They, and by extension all the other non-game media we get for TF2, are all absolutely amazing, bringing a new dimension to what is otherwise just a cartoony first person shooter. Valve have said it themselves, comics and videos are a third way to actually give TF2 some sort of story, even if it is absolutely batshit crazy. But although I can understand delays in these things, sometimes there’s something… missing. Part of the reason why I’m writing this article is because Jay Dorris hasn’t finished his article. Jay Dorris is a… [Continue Reading]

On the molasses-like progress of League of Legends lore

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Hi everyone! Today, I’ll be talking about the lore of League of Legends. Around the time of the Shurima update, the League of Legends was abruptly removed from the lore of League of Legends. At the time, Riot’s Lore team said that the League and the Institute of War were holding them back creatively, as they had to give each champion reasons to be there. They promised that, with the League gone, they’d be able to expand into new territories, improve their writing and be able to come out with more content. At the same time, the Lore team removed… [Continue Reading]

Medic, Oh Medic, Please Rescue Me

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Medic, oh Medic, please rescue me I don’t like it here; I long to be free Medic, oh Medic, will you not save me? Save me from his antics (and misery) Medic, oh Medic, am I forgotten As I’m right next to a heart quite rotten? Medic, oh Medic, I hate it in here His brain is just full of chicken and fear Medic, oh Medic, how he tires me Despite warning, he dies to a sentry Medic, oh Medic, tell him not to taunt When he kills spies whose Dead Ringers they flaunt Medic, oh Medic, will he ever… [Continue Reading]

On Becoming a Parody of Your Former Self

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I’ve been re-reading and re-watching a lot of TF2 stuff lately. While my desire to actually play the game has fizzled out lately, I’ve always been a fan of the crazy TF2 back story. Always will. But my recent reviewing of it all has made me notice a few things. Things are changing. In ways I’m not sure I like. It hit me when I read Gargoyles and Gravel Pits, the Scream Fortress 2015 comic. In it, Medic is depicted as a complete lunatic, while Engineer is pretty chill about everything. And I realised that Medic has gone more and… [Continue Reading]

The Art of Taunt Killing

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I love taunt kills. So weird and wonderful, and yet, almost completely useless. But performing a successful execution is beautiful. It’s the embodiment of satisfaction, tension and humiliation wrapped up in a bow, and all you have to do is deliver the present to the person of your choice. It’s one of many ways TF2 sets itself apart from the tedious, generic shooter. I like the applications for it as well. Going for the oblivious Sniper who doesn’t have situational awareness, praying for a cheeky kill at the end of a lost round, hoping for the lucky kill if you’re… [Continue Reading]