sniper

Prof. NiceHeart’s Guide to SMG Sniper

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Prof. NiceHeart was a short-lived SPUFer who got himself banned when someone realized he was an alt of Dr. EvilBrain, a prominent user who got himself banned for creating the shortest-lived itsurblog in history following the messy closure of the original. NiceHeart’s other claim to fame was being SPUF’s resident SMG-maining Sniper, and recently he set some time aside to advise others on how to improve at this oft-maligned subclass. One final note: At the time this interview was done, the Cleaner’s Carbine had these stats.  Welcome! Tell us a bit about yourself. I’m Professor NiceHeart and I main Sniper for pubstomping,… [Continue Reading]

The Unbalanced Infinite-Hitscan-Range-Man

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Walking along Frontier, trying to actually do the objective, and then bam. Sniper headshots you from across the map, and proceeds to taunt, because “Snipin’ gud job m8.” I’m sure everybody who has ever played TF2 has experienced this pain at least once. My opinion has always been that the Australian Camper Van Man has been unbalanced, and some people could argue that he isn’t unbalanced because his weakness is close range, well heads up, the Jaratewacka combo exists. OK, enough talk, let’s get into why he’s unbalanced. 1. Sniper effectively counters everybody Really the only class that moves fast enough on the ground to… [Continue Reading]

Passive abilities

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TF2 doesn’t feel like a game with a lot of passive abilities. There are few obvious ones, such as the scout’s double-jump and the Pyro’s afterburn immunity, but when you look into things, it turns out that almost every class has at least one. First of all, its debatable whether “more than 125 health” counts as a passive ability. Even though its pretty clearly the baseline for TF2, some people might consider speed and health a form of statistics instead of abilities. It’s also debatable whether any ability that requires equipping a weapon would count, like “can remove sappers” or… [Continue Reading]

Dem Choppas

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This article is a shoutout to my favorite TF2 Mod; dem choppas. Who wants a plinky submachinegun when they can have the most famous assault rifle in world history? There are all sorts of reasons to use dem choppas. Reason 1: They’re dem choppas. There’s no other real reason. I mean, they’re choppas. I’ve wanted to write an article about dem choppas for a while now but I couldn’t think of anything meaningful to say. But now, we’re like three days behind on articles and I need something to write for yesterday but I don’t want to publish a real… [Continue Reading]

Regenerating Health and not a Medic

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I have a thing about regenerating health. I like it. If I’m falling back, I can heal some of that damage I just took before I am even close to a health kit. Regenerating health though is sparse, because it counters all forms of damage over time and generally punishes people for not finishing you off. It always used to be that Medics were the only people with regenerating health, but now we have two more sources of this small but appreciated ability. When it comes to regenerating health, it’s been a bumpy ride. The Blutsauger was the original weapon… [Continue Reading]

Sniper’s Parental Predicament

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Note: The following story is set in the past, back when Sniper’s foster parental units were still alive and kicking and living in a nice house in the middle of nowhere with a purple dog and a talking computer. Then that TF2 comic happened and everything changed. But this story still makes sense as long as you set it before the time the TF2 comics are set in.

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Dead in the Water

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I feel sorry for Sniper. You never thought you’d see me write that, but it’s true. I genuinely feel sorry for Sniper. I pity the poor guy. His life has been one mistake after another. He must be feeling like shit right now, especially with those gunshot wounds. Poor bugger. Let’s have a quick recap as to what’s happened to Sniper as of late. He fought a bread monster. That wasn’t too bad. Stupid thing stole his rifle but he got that back. Discovered that he has some musical talent too. Didn’t get a single line in that short, but… [Continue Reading]

The Rise of Mun-Dee

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Blood in the Water is an awesome comic, whether it was six months late or early. Its accompanying blog post on the TF website reads, “This double-sized monster has got it all, folks! All the action! All the words we know! 113 pulse-crushing, revelation-choked pages!” They weren’t kidding. Perhaps the chokingest revelation of all, the one I’d like to comment on today, concerns the identity of the TF2 Sniper. For years he’s been scoring those headshots with his trusty rifle or bow. He’s been throwing insults and his own urine around in vast measures. He’s been the bane of many… [Continue Reading]

Blood on the Water, almost – The new TF2 Comic

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So, we FINALLY got the next issue of the TF2 comic, Blood on the Water. And it’s been a bloody long wait. Rather insultingly, the blog post writer said that it was early, as the comic is now yearly. I’m assuming that’s a joke but you never know with these guys. For all we know, the last issue will coincide with Half Life 3 or 4 or something. Anyway, if you haven’t read the new comic yet, read it now, as this article is FULL of spoilers and I wouldn’t want to SPOIL things for you. No sir. Click here… [Continue Reading]

The Pistol and the SMG: Unappreciated Pea-shooters?

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In the majority of FPS games, your selection of weapons includes at least these three Faithfuls: the pistol, the machine gun and the shotgun. Your pistol is typically considered a back-up weapon, acquired early in the game and perhaps coupled with a melee option. Your machine gun is quite inaccurate but delivers lots of ouchies per second. Your shotgun is slow to fire and only effective at close range, but makes up for it by blowing your enemies’ heads open in one hit. TF2 is not the majority of FPS games. Just think about Soldier for a second. Valve could… [Continue Reading]