They’re telling you something.

Back in my day, I used to play Arena Mode 22/7. If I wasn’t playing Arena Mode, I was busy killing donators on a 24/7 Saigns Junction server, because I had no life and no friends and dominating a guy with infinite ammo and double jumps with a stealthy ninjaneering sentry was amusing to me. I’ve gone on about this so damn often that I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to kick me in the head. Believe me, I often want to kick myself in the head. But over time, the Arena servers died. The only ones left are… [Continue Reading]

Sniper’s Parental Predicament

Note: The following story is set in the past, back when Sniper’s foster parental units were still alive and kicking and living in a nice house in the middle of nowhere with a purple dog and a talking computer. Then that TF2 comic happened and everything changed. But this story still makes sense as long as you set it before the time the TF2 comics are set in.

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Poker Night At Teufort

Poker Night at the Inventory was a great game, wasn’t it? Well, I liked it. I never got around to winning the achievement items, because I lose concentration on a game really quickly if it isn’t Garry’s Mod these days, but it was fun. The best bit was the dialogue. The conversation the other players, in this case Max, Strong Bad, Heavy and whatshisname all chatting away, talking about their day to day lives, sometimes throwing in the odd joke or random bit of nonsense as they go along. Lovely, right? Unfortunately, I never got around to getting the second… [Continue Reading]

Excuse My French

Oui oui, I love the things Frenches. It’s a lovely language sophisticated: more good anyway than the English. Today I would want to show you several of the consequences interestings of playing at TF2 with the mode French. I am fascinated in the way which Valve have translated certains objects and I hope that you want to see the differences between the games French and English. (Basically, here are some screenshots of my loadouts with cool Frenchie names. Shall we check ’em out?) Since many of the weapons in TF2 are named after phrases associated with the characters, their names… [Continue Reading]

A Beginner’s Guide to Classes in Mann vs Machine

Mann vs Machine first launched in August of 2012, and since then, I’ve been completely hooked. Team Fortress 2 has always been an on-and-off sort of game for me, but I don’t think there’s ever been a point in time when I went cold turkey on this game mode. Cooperating with teammates to accomplish a task has always been endearing for me, whether it be against other players or faceless robots dictated by their simple, robot tendencies. Of course, jumping into a game with five people you don’t know can be problematic toward teamwork, especially when the six of you… [Continue Reading]

Straight Upgrades In Your TF2

So let’s face it: there are weapons that, in TF2 are just better than their stock counterparts for a multitude of reasons. As aabicus mentioned in his article, there are only a handful of weapons that are objectively better than their associated stock weapons. However, we’re here to talk about ones that, while they are not objectively better, are better in almost every conceivable scenario. So let’s get right into it. 1.  Me Petite Chou Fleur. The Ambassador has been in the game for a very long time, and is basically the staple of upper-level/competitive Spy play. Knives are (usually) variable, but most… [Continue Reading]

cp_Junction, What’s Your Function?

If you haven’t heard of cp_Junction, I can’t say I blame you. Buried in the back of the server rotation with tc_Hydro and pl_Nightfall is this peculiar, subterranean Attack/Defend map known as Junction that almost no server ever runs. Featuring cramped, narrow halls, sparse cover, and a very restricted layout, this map is an oddity amongst TF2 maps. Why do people avoid or otherwise not play on this map? Well, that’d be because… it’s a pretty bad map. So let’s investigate one of TF2’s lesser-known maps, shall we? The promo image can tell you quite a bit about Junction, and… [Continue Reading]

500th Article Contest Winners!

Welp, the contest finished with a poof rather than a bang, but that’s alright since there are prizes waiting to be given away! And trust me, these prizes won’t stand still. They’ve got a life of their own. What were the prizes again? Let’s recap: Third Prize – 1 Decal Tool, 1 Strange Revolver, 1 picture of your favourite load out done in Garry’s Mod. Second Prize – 1 Tour of Duty Ticket, 1 Strange Medi Gun, 1 picture of your favourite load out done in Garry’s Mod, 1 fan fiction of your choice written by me. First Prize – 1… [Continue Reading]

Gunslinger versus Highlander 5

It’s been too long since we’ve done a SPUF event, and this one was always popular. The minisentry has also been nerfed since the last time we did these, so I think now is an appropriate time to do this. DATE 2014-11-16 (Sunday) at 1:00 PM EST. SERVER The server will be located in the central US. I will provide an IP a few hours before the match. RULES+ That’s right! Unlike previous seasons, we actually have rules! Organization! Can you believe it? • Stay positive and have fun. Don’t be that guy screaming over the mic because your team lost mid… [Continue Reading]

Why Slows Are Horrible

Pew! Off went my purple splat of slowness. I aimed it perfectly, right between the minions, splitting the purple splat at just the right moment to catch the enemy Ryze. The splat landed, Ryze was slowed and my team mate scooped up the kill. “Nice work, Vel’Koz!” my team mate smiled. Now, slows are really common in a lot of games, particularly MOBAs. And Skyrim, since everyone up north has a frost spell or three. But here in Team Fortress 2, the only slows we have are all hated. Scum of the earth. We scream and swear because of them.… [Continue Reading]