“Get Autobalanced,” ft. the Lonely Skybox

Lock eyes from across the room Down my Bonk! while the rockets boom Strafe your shots and hug your face So your own sentry kills you in my place Make my way through the enemy lines When a revved-up heavy I suddenly find Move in close, let the baseball fly My scattergun fires and the angels cry Leave your base go back to mine Intel papers fluttering behind The winning cap’s what I’ve got instore Gloat over chat that I want some more And I GET AUTOBALANCED I really don’t get how that pyro was there I passed four of… [Continue Reading]

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Dear VALVe: Please Don’t Add Low Gravity to Any Official Map

One of the most worrisome requests I’m seeing from numerous people is for Valve to add low gravity in some form to rd_asteroid. I understand that it would be thematically appropriate, but I’ve played on lowgrav servers and it screws with class balance in all the wrong ways. Before requesting lowgrav, I highly encourage you to go try out a lowgrav trade server just so you get a feel of what lowgrav does to a playstyle. Scout in particular becomes downright infuriating to play. His dodging/strafing ability becomes crippled when every time his feet leave the ground he blimps slowly… [Continue Reading]

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On Love and War Class Nerfs

The Love and War Update handed us some neat stuff, like a neat-o short film, server-wide conga events, parachutes, and bread.  Also with the update shipped three (now two) serious nerfs for three classes.  This, I feel, was the weakest part of the update.  They were not thought out well, and were in some ways too strong, and in others too unnecessary in a game with bigger problems. Let’s get demoman out of the way.  Spuf has probably read ten thousand words on the controversial nerf, so I’m going to make this one short.  The sticky launcher needed a nerf,… [Continue Reading]

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Why TF2 Should Be More Like Loadout

I’ve been picking up Loadout recently, and I’ve been having a blast, although I noticed that Loadout has a lot of elements TF2 has (mainly the fact that it has a LOT of spam, and revolves around mobility) but has implemented these elements a lot better: Number 1: Spam. Anyone who’s ever played Loadout knows that it has more grenade spam than TFC and more projectile spam than TF2x10 where everyone is using the Beggar’s Bazooka. And yet, Loadout‘s spam is much more enjoyable, why is that? 1.) Big fancy colored projectiles! In Loadout firefights often look like firework shows,… [Continue Reading]

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Why moving turning to the booties would be a terrible idea

By Reima As a confirmed enthusiast of the knight, I want to put my official opinion piece on the pseudo-controversy that is the turncharge and the potential use of booties all together. Although turning has been recently recently green lighted, it currently remains under a conditional equip. I believe it’s a fair compromise, albeit a temporary fix. Still a step in the right direction. The public gets the equivalent of Vjoy being injected into the coding, and Knights are universally nerfed as they make that trade for maximum control. Turning knights are stripped of their heavy resistances and super shield… [Continue Reading]

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Are Unusuals Worth It?

The scenario is simple. You’ve just acquired your very first unusual. Or maybe it’s your second unusual. Or your third. Whatever. The point is, was it worth all the effort trying to get an unusual hat? Or is it all pointless? Let’s start from the beginning. There are only a few ways in which you can acquire an unusual hat. The first and technically the simplest way is to unbox an unusual, with that one-in-one-hundred chance to get something worth more than the key used to open it. Of course, this is a rare occurrence and it’s the only source… [Continue Reading]

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That new Valve blog post.

Since we get incredibly long gaps between blog posts, I can still call the recent one about bad weapon ideas new and still be fairly punctual even if the blog post was released a month ago. I suppose we should be thankful about getting a blog post at all, considering what Dota 2 has had recently… Anyway, spite aside, the blog post itself is fairly interesting. It’s nice to see that there’s someone in that office, possibly talking to another person about adding weapons for Team Fortress 2. Then again, I might be completely wrong and there’s just one person… [Continue Reading]

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“Snipin’s a good job mate”… just like being a nuclear physicist

Let’s get something straight. Our bushwhacking friend the Sniper, that lean, mean shooting machine, is an interesting class. He’s got more firepower than Pyro’s toaster and more attitude than a diving plane. His accent alone makes him a respectable character. Small wonder so many people like slipping into his sunnies when they first try out TF2. For the good of your team, DO NOT DO THAT. What we should all know already from movies, books and common sense is this. The job of a sniper requires high specialization, that is, a unique skill set. Snipers must have superhuman patience, an… [Continue Reading]

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The Pyro should remain a mystery.

The tagline for the Spy was that he is a riddle wrapped in an enigma, but it turns out we know quite a lot about the Spy. He fancies Scout’s mother and he had a full miniature meal in his teeth. The only thing that we know about the Pyro is that when fire is around, he sees everything as rainbows and candy. We don’t even know if he’ s a he. Actually, I say that, there is some stuff we know about the Pyro. We know it likes puppies and we know that it can actually run a business,… [Continue Reading]

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Medic’s turn to talk about the removal of the Demoknight Turning Script

I’m sure none of you care any more, unless your name is Craylash or something, but I want to talk about how I, often the victim of the Demoknight (and everyone else of course) feel about the removal of the Demoknight Turning Script. Now, I am a very fair person. I have a strong sense of justice and I always say what I feel is right or wrong. Well, not always, but in this case, I’m saying so. And I’m going to put it right here: I feel that the Turning Scripts and Charge turning are unfair to their victims.… [Continue Reading]

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