Dog of the Machine

Despite me loving cosmetics so very, very much, I’ve never been much of a fan about cosmetic sets. Part of the joy of cosmetics for me is coming out with my own sets that I like and uniquely represents me. However, there is one particular set that I personally love, and it just so happens to be a Halloween set. Tremble, humans, as the Canis Ex Machina roams among you all. Added during Scream Fortress 2014, the Canis Ex Machina is a reference to the series of infamous Soviet experiments, Эксперименты по оживлению организма (Experiments in the Revival of Organisms). The… [Continue Reading]

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Vampiric Vesture

Scream Fortress 2014 brought to us, as usual, a bunch of Halloween-restricted cosmetics. Scout gets to be a zombie from another universe, Sniper’s a were-kangaroo, and Medic is now an angelic being with healing powers. Overall, I say that 2014’s haul of Halloween-themed cosmetics was plentiful and good. Among all of these cosmetics, there is one I would’ve gladly bought and use it daily if not for the fact that it’s Halloween-restricted. I present to you, the Vampiric Vesture. The Vampiric Vesture is part of the Dr. Acula set for the Medic, with the other cosmetic of the set being… [Continue Reading]

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Balance Changes – TF2 Blog Post 20-06-2017

Oh my fucking Bahrag, there’s a Team Fortress 2 update and it’s a balance update rather than yet another fucking crate and key update. Oh my god what’s happening? Is this reality? Is this Valve putting the space left over from SPUF’s destruction to good use? Of course not. It’s a bunch of insane, crazy changes. But at least Valve are saying WHY these changes are being made. A lot of the changes seem to be nerfs, particularly the Scout items. Seriously, these changes are all fucking insane. Yes, the Dangershield is getting nerfed, but holy fuck now it has… [Continue Reading]

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The Making of a Medic

As I mentioned in a previous article, I am very particular with the cosmetics I chose for my Medic wardrobe. As a matter of fact, I can walk through my old screenshots and watch my outfit evolve as the various parts came together and at no point have I removed a piece. So I thought I might dedicate an article to each piece of the most beloved outfit I’ve ever owned in a video game. In college I made my first video game purchase ever; I bought The Orange Box and the Half Life Anthology pack in honor of finally getting a desktop.… [Continue Reading]

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Burly Beast

Some time before Scream Fortress 2016, there was a Reddit thread about how some mercs got shafted really bad when it comes to cosmetic distribution. This was what I said: If you wonder what “this” refers to, it’s this. And guess what got added during Scream Fortress 2016? Exactly that. Now, I’m not saying Valve listens to me, but Valve added a cosmetic that was submitted and last updated a whole year ago when there are other submission made that year. By the way Valve, if you are still listening, I still want my jetpack. As one can see, this tears… [Continue Reading]

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Surgeon’s Sidearms

What always irritates me when I see Medic cosmetics is that they rarely portray Medic’s medical practice properly. Most cosmetics portray Medic as a doctor. A proper medical doctor. With cosmetics like this one, this one, this one, and this one. and the fact that he’s running around with a Medi Gun in a shiny white labcoat, anyone not familiar with the lore and doesn’t pay attention to the voicelines would’ve thought Medic to be a Hippocrates-loving, pacifistic, and compassionate guardian angel. Meanwhile, the real Medic is an absolute psychopath with his skills being a side effect of his morbid curiosity. Did you… [Continue Reading]

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The Six Hundred and Seventieth Article

Out of all the numbers out there, I really like the number 70. I’ve never really understood why. It’s just a neat number. Not really divisible by much. Not particularly interesting. But it looks nice. Clean almost. Why am I talking about the number 70? Because I missed my 666th article due to A Week of Love and Hate 3, and I didn’t want to wait until my 700th article, even though it’s the number 700 and 700 is way more impressive than 70. But still, here I am, publishing my 670th article. Complete with images that have nothing to… [Continue Reading]

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Planetside, too

In the interests of expanding our horizons, Medic and I are doing an exchange where we take turns picking a free-to-play multiplayer game that one of us hasn’t tried. Last week we played Warframe, which Medic wrote about, and this week we were gonna try my old college love, Planetside 2, but then the game didn’t work on Medic’s computer. (Update: It eventually fixed itself, and our co-op adventures will be chronicled in Medic’s upcoming article!) However, this did cause me to reinstall again, and soon I was teleported back to my 2013 dorm room–running through Auraxian landscapes, solo-capping control points and constantly reviving corpses. I don’t… [Continue Reading]

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A little heart to heart

With all my assignments and upcoming mid-terms, as well as a workload designed to produce the best graduates by killing off whoever that can’t survive working 18 hours a day, I wasn’t going to write an article this weekend. However, one day while lurking on the Daily SPUF post on … well, SPUF, I saw this: I realized, after a bunch of hat-related posts, I didn’t really introduce who I was aside from being a hat-loving TF2 player, or just a stereotypical TF2 player to most people. Sorry about that, I suppose that’s kinda rude. However, before I do that, I suppose… [Continue Reading]

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Team Fortress Comics #6 is out!

It’s only been forever (okay, nearly a year and a half) since the last issue, but woo boy, this one is a biggie! And by biggie, I mean it both in actual size and in content. Issue 6 comes in at a lovely 270-something individual panels and a LOT of new lore, as well as an ending that makes you want more but also makes you willing to wait for two and three quarter years for issue 7. Before we start, be warned, there are spoilers ahead. Although this is just an overview, so I won’t be discussing every detail… [Continue Reading]

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