Why Slows Are Horrible

Pew! Off went my purple splat of slowness. I aimed it perfectly, right between the minions, splitting the purple splat at just the right moment to catch the enemy Ryze. The splat landed, Ryze was slowed and my team mate scooped up the kill. “Nice work, Vel’Koz!” my team mate smiled. Now, slows are really common in a lot of games, particularly MOBAs. And Skyrim, since everyone up north has a frost spell or three. But here in Team Fortress 2, the only slows we have are all hated. Scum of the earth. We scream and swear because of them.… [Continue Reading]

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Haunted items no longer make sense!

Haunted is one of the many item qualities in Team Fortress 2. Its hexadecimal colour (or web colour if you prefer) is #38F3AB or R:56 G:243 B:171 if RGB colours are more of your thing. If you prefer CMYK, the values are C:77 M:0 Y:29.6 K:4.7. No, I will not go and find you a closest Pantone colour. Anyway, no matter what colour numbers Haunted has, its reason to exist has lost its way. Originally, the Haunted quality was used on a bunch of cosmetic items, from the 2011 Very Scary Halloween event on Eye-a-duct. Most gifts that spawned appeared on the main… [Continue Reading]

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A New WAR! Update?

Shortly after the release of this year’s Scream Fortress, a Facepunch user named testinglol (who has leaked and predicted several previous updates) found code in the game files suggesting there would be an update that would pit the Spy and Engineer against one another in the style of the WAR! Update that happened all the way back in 2009. Being a Spy main, this interested me supremely. You can find a full list of the features here, or watch Valve News Network’s video here. But for those of you who didn’t head off to soak in those links, here’s a… [Continue Reading]

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Why Soldier is (Often) the Favorite and Most Balanced Class

Hello everyone! One of my favorite things about Team Fortress 2 is the idea of having 9 completely different classes work together and intertwine roles to complete objectives. Some classes like the scout are considered the pinnacle of skill to TF2 competitive players while the heavy and the engineer are fairly simple to newcomers to the FPS genre. The demoman is usually credited with having the greatest skill curve but the soldier is considered the ‘best’ and most ‘balanced’ class. Let me explain why many people share this common opinion. 1. Skill Curve The soldier is not the normal cookie cutter class of most FPSs… [Continue Reading]

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Updates, glorious updates!

Earlier this week another TF2 update was released. I’m gonna get right to the point, that is, what they did to the Carnival of Carnage map:     That’s a screenshot from the Steam news feed, by the way. If you’ve read through it, you should be able to see why I’m so excited. The only two things I found wrong with this event map – Engineers dominating everybody from behind a map, and being shot by a Sentry while fixed by Merasmus’ curse – HAVE BEEN FIXED! I always loved this year’s Scream Fortress event, as you may have gathered from my… [Continue Reading]

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TF2Kart – Racing Madness!

Did Scream Fortress’ bumper cars get you yearning for more Team Fortress karting madness? InstantMuffin from GotSticed, the developer of PropHunt TNG we interviewed a few months ago, has announced his newest TF2 mod, which is all about racing up to 15 other players in frantic laps around a custom track. There are pickups which allow you to fire rockets, drop bananas or give yourself a speed boost. I like to time my speed boost right before a huge jump and see how much air time I can clock. The server fills up quick, but that’s all the more reason to try it out! 16 bumper cars… [Continue Reading]

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Dead in the Water

I feel sorry for Sniper. You never thought you’d see me write that, but it’s true. I genuinely feel sorry for Sniper. I pity the poor guy. His life has been one mistake after another. He must be feeling like shit right now, especially with those gunshot wounds. Poor bugger. Let’s have a quick recap as to what’s happened to Sniper as of late. He fought a bread monster. That wasn’t too bad. Stupid thing stole his rifle but he got that back. Discovered that he has some musical talent too. Didn’t get a single line in that short, but… [Continue Reading]

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How to Fight the Short Circuit as an Explosive Class

Initial disclaimer: As you probably already know, there’s not a hell of a lot you can do as an explosive class against an intelligent (or even a braindead) Short Circuit engineer. He’s basically got the love child of the flamethrower and the deflector and it was hand-crafted at birth to screw you and only you. But as a diehard Demoman main I can do little except attempt to adapt to this new challenge, and I’ve slowly found what I believe to be the best possible strategy to use against a turtling level 3 sentry nest guarded by the Short Circuit.… [Continue Reading]

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Why I like Helltower

In the days leading toward the sixth annual Scream Fortress event, Valve have been kind enough to give us easy access to past events. Yesterday I played on Helltower with two decent teams and, for the first time, some idea of what I was actually doing. My team lost, but it was fun anyway. I’ve seen enough articles about Hightower already. Personally I think it’s a rather boring map, good for training in propelled jumps and sniping but little else. Snipers can be so annoying. But the Helltower version? Much more interesting! I know people are complaining that Scream Fortress… [Continue Reading]

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Bumper Cars and You!

The new Halloween map has decidedly one of the funnest post-game grudge-matches ever. Learning from their mistakes with hell from last year, Valve has taken the concepts and turned them into two very fun mini-games and one which will probably get more fun once Valve finds a way to stop perpetual stalemates on the 9-Square grid. The Doomsday_event bumper cars are not exactly the most strategy-laden game modes TF2 has to offer but there are still some strategies quick-witted players can use to give themselves the edge. To wit: 1) Bind a key to suicide. The second you’re about to… [Continue Reading]

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